Mumblings of a Mommy

Hello World

2011-04-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

So life has been good. John is set to graduate at the end of this year. The kids are doing good, Aurora loves preschool. Im going to school and thats going well. John got a promotion and raise at work and that is awesome. He is also doing a special weight loss program (for his health) and that is going well. He is there tonight, waiting to hear how much he lost...but if his work scale is a good indicator...over 10 pounds in one week!

Well Im off to read the kiddos their bedtime story...

Play with ME!

2011-03-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

I havent been on much and a lot has happened which Ill have to spend time writing a nice long response about..but I wanted to share this article that I wrote.. check it out

Play with ME!
5

THEY GOT PAINT EVERYWHERE!

2010-09-17T16:35:00.000-07:00

AND IT WAS AWESOME ; )

The kiddos and I have been trying to do a lot more outdoor activities. So today after their awesome dentist appointment (Aurora got full xrays, a full cleaning and did great.. no cavaties and was such a great patient. Johnny just got his teeth partially cleaned and counted, he has 16 teeth.) we headed off to the craft store for supplies..

Grandpa, the kiddos, and I returned home. I made lunch for grandpa and the kiddos. While they ate, I set up. I went to the back, the carport, and taped large portions of paper across the wall and one large portion to the ground. I put different colors into two trays, one for each kiddo. Then once they were done eating, grandpa brought them out to me. He was tired so he headed back in. Too bad cause he missed out on all the fun!

The before shot

Long time..no post...

2010-09-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

I will try to post a more detailed update soon, but for now...

Aurora will be turning 3 on Monday! My baby girl is turning 3!!!

Johnny is talking up a storm lately, even some full sentences! He will be 2 in November.

Baby number 3 is...drum roll please... a little girl!!! Scarlett Mae is on her way! We got some bad news at our 18week ultrasound, possible down syndrome.. Bright spot on the heart and corpus plexus cyst in the brain..soft markers for downs. Went back. CPC is gone.. but bright spot remains. At my age and with the indicators seen...we have a 1%chance that she has down syndrome. So please pray that our baby is healthy. We have declined the amnio and are happily awaiting the birth of our baby girl in December.. no matter what ; )

Ill try to post pics later.. off to bed right now.

No school....

2010-06-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

I have thought about it a lot, though I have yet to discuss this with hubby....so its not for sure yet. However I am thinking of not going back to school in the fall. I am really just enjoying being mommy again... and while I love school and Im great at it, I really feel like my priority is my children. I feel like I need more time with them and now number 3 will be here in December and I think maybe I just want to go back to my little family.

I have retreated some from friends, it is not personal, im just ready for it to be my little family. Also I think I have mentioned before, I may even be a bit on the anti-social side.

I feel so blessed with where our family is right now, where we are at in life, etc. I look around and I realize how wonderful we truly have it and how so many out there would love to have a life like ours. So at times I know I wish I could change things, but deep down I am content with where we are now.

I dont really know what the future will really hold for us in the next 2-5 years. John will be graduating with his bachelors... We love the company he currently works for and he may try for a position inside the company but we dont feel tied down to where we are..and because of that we may keep our options open for positions nationwide... time will tell. I am excited and nervous..

Ive got some other thoughts running through my head, but not feeling like sharing lol.

Just a lil update

2010-05-31T16:12:00.000-07:00

Not too much to say. Same ol same old stuff going on around here. I am buying things here or there for the new little one, but holding off on most items until we know the gender. We have moved some furniture around.. and cleaned out our storage unit. I am really trying to get rid of a lot of the junk we have around.

Today I bought pretty much everything the kids needed in summer wear.. I think they are all set, I might buy a few items here or there if its in the budget and I like them, but for the most part I think they have everything they need.

As most of you know, we considered moving, but decided against it. Im not willing to give up my husband and his time with our family for a further commute. I am also not willing to give up my friends and family. So alas, we stay lol. Funny though... that was my plan and somehow I became sidetracked, well I know how, but we wont go into that lol. I am actually at peace now, Im not stressing about it all.

There are things we have given up so that I could be a stay at home mom, but I couldnt imagine it any other way. A house will have to come later in life..which I mean come on.. im 24..ive got time lol.

Oh and I have been looking into local preschools for aurora. However I do not intend on sending her until she is at least 3 1/2 or 4. It is very important that we find a place that will help her get ready for school as well as help build a Christian foundation. We go to church and she loves it, but I want to make sure to further her spiritual faith in preschool as well. I have considered sending her to a Christian school instead of public, but it is costly and I almost feel like its a waste of money. We live in a pretty great public school district. Actually when I look up the ratings online its rated the best in the area. Yet this is something I dont have to worry about for a few years.

Ive started a few more sewing projects....ill post pics if and when I finish them lol

Well anyways. I could sit here and type all day lol..but ill save the rest for another day.

I just dont get it

2010-05-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

This has been going around in my head for awhile now and I just havent really taken the time to sit down and write it.

How does someone hurt a child? And I dont mean spanking or something like that.. But I mean seriously abuse a child, or make horrible decisions that lead to a serious injury or even death!

I cant stand hearing about a child being abused, I dont know if its being a mom (well I am sure that is a large part of it) or it is the pregnancy hormones, but I get very upset. I begin to cry.. its just bad. Id rather not hear about it.

When doing my research for my English paper. I came across a newspaper article about a woman sentenced to 10 years in prison because she shook a poor little baby. She was a day care worker and the child was brain damaged. I felt so bad for that child, who will never be the same again.

Or my father was telling me about some woman who let her drunk boyfriend drive her son home, and they got into a wreck and the boy died. How do you even allow that situation to come about?

Or the worst story I ever heard...a story that I cried over for days.. A little boy was returned to its home by its grandmother, the man who was home at the time (i can not remember if it was the father of the child or just the mothers boyfriend). Took the baby boy in its carseat and put him in his carseat in the crib and there he sat for days..until he died of starvation, sitting in his own feces. Even now this brings me to tears.

How dare they? HOW DARE THEY treat a child like that? Scum of the earth I say... scum...

And then I think about that poor child, that child who had all the love in the world to give, yet the people around them just couldnt give it back.

Children are blessings, and you give them all the love and all they do is love you back. How can you not look into the face of a child and be in love? Even if its not your child. I can understand seeing an older child and being disgusted by their behavior, but in the end, its just a child. Innocent.

Home is where your heart is...

2010-05-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Isnt that the saying? Im not certain.

I dont think anyone really reads my blog, which sort of plays in my favor right now, because I feel like whining.

I want a house, BADLY.... But where we live its just not an option, home prices are extraordinarily expensive, even in bad areas. We get such great rent and live in a great school district, but I just cant seem to get rid of that feeling...I want to own a home.

But being an adult is knowing patience...all things come in time. John and I are working hard together to budget. We are paying down debts, hopefully soon all that will be left to tackle is the car loan and school loans..which is a lot, but it can be done. Then we can save our 3 - 6 months of an emergency fund. Then it will be time to save for a house.

I would love to be able to save 100 percent down, but that isnt likely. We will have to settle for a large down payment and a 15 year loan. Either way, its not happening for awhile.

On another note John should be graduating from school with his bachelors in about a year or so, not sure on the exact date because his school counselor hasnt returned his email yet.

The future holds so much for us, but at times its hard to wait. Today is one of those days.

Sick sick sick

2010-05-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

Im plain sick of being sick! It seems like I turn around and get a cold lately. Now I have this horrible cough.. This wont be a long blog.. I just want to whine!!!!! It sucks.

Life as always

2010-05-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

There isnt too much to report. I have been sick the last few days, so I havent been up to much.

My dishwasher comes tomorrow, and man am I excited.. lol Its been a long time waiting. It wont be installed for a few days though..but ive waited this long. I can wait a few more days.

Saturday my hubby turns 30! We dont know yet what we intend on doing for his birthday. According to him, he is not turning 30, but rather 29b... sure honey..whatever you say lol. I told him to think about it this way. He is a 30 year old man with a wife in her early twenties! : )

Nothing much new to report or complain about. Although I guess I could complain about lots of things lol... I think about it sometimes..of just letting myself vent here or somewhere..anywhere, but I have this stigma against it. For a few reasons. One I used to keep a journal to vent in, as a child, and my mother always read it and she was always upset with what she read. I guess I learned to keep my thoughts to myself because people sometimes dont understand that you say things in the heat of anger, but its not always entirely meant... so you hurt someone.. (though around some people I can gossip... its like word vomit flowing freely from my mouth, yet only around certain people. So now I avoid those people or avoid specific subjects with them. I also have become better at holding some thoughts in and asking for forgiveness for thoughts I just shouldnt have)

I guess I have always been the type of person who cares what other people think, especially of me. One of those "keeping up with the Jones' type". Well not anymore, Im sick of keeping up with the Jones'. Even then, I still cant bring myself to vent here, or anywhere for that matter. I vent to my husband or maybe even my close friends, but I still dont want to hurt anyones feelings.

I care too much about my friends to hurt their feelings, but maybe you could say I dont care enough to tell them all the truth... Hmm.. food for thought.

Been Busy

2010-04-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

I dont even know where to begin. I am getting close to the end of this semester. Still holding onto my A's in my classes.. I just have one paper left to write for English 100 and the final for my math class. I signed up for an online summer anthropology course, it ought to be interesting.

I think we have decided that Aurora will not be continuing mommy and me ballet right now, she just isnt enjoying being there anymore and I just dont think she is ready for the structure of the class. Who knows, maybe ballet isnt going to be her thing.. So I am thinking about looking into different classes and trying to pick something that will really interest her. I think during summer we might do swim classes again, she loves the water.

Johnny is doing good, talking more now. He is quite the loving little boy lately, with kisses, hugs, and cuddles. I am concerned that he may be bowlegged, his appointment is coming up at the end of May and I will be mentioning it to his pedi then.

If I have not mentioned it yet, our family is expanding! We decided to begin ttc and had my IUD taken out at the end of feb. I thought it would at least take a few months, but was very happily surprised when I received three positive tests at the end of March. We are now eight weeks along, we had an ultrasound last week. We were able to see the little ones heartbeat, it was beautiful. Aurora is overjoyed to be a sister again. She randomly talks about the baby, comes up and hugs my stomach. We are very excited about this new addition to our family. : ) Its amazing to think of it, but our family will now be a family of five!

Food!

2010-03-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

So lately I have wanted to start learning how to cook more things. I have been inspired by all the friends around me that have been cooking awesome meals. You see I was raised in a broken home. My mother worked full time and went to school at night, there wasnt time for a great home cooked meal all the time, the crock pot was her best friend. We had a lot of the same meals often. And my father, with home I spent most of my time in my teenage years.. well he cooked very rarely and if he did it was SPAM, or sloppy joes.. or cheese in a tortilla in the microwave lol..

If I gleaned any cooking knowledge, it was from my grandmothers. Two women that I respect. I lost one a year and a month ago. I still have my other grandmother though, sadly she lives across the country, but she will be here this weekend.

Anyways. I wanted to share the meal I made last night. It started with a food network recipe. Then I changed it a bit. I am all about pocket book friendly food (thank you Dave Ramsey for helping to make me a budgeter! )

I used Rice a Roni fried rice
Plus Oriental top ramen
And carrots and peas.

And I used cubed tofu instead of tofu strips. I didnt have sherry vinegar, so I used white wine vinegar. I also increased the Worcester sauce.

Here is the link to the recipe for the tofu, as well as the recipe.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/fillet-ofu-recipe/index.html

Ingredients
1 (19-ounce) block firm tofu
2 tablespoons sherry vinegar
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
Few dashes of hot pepper sauce
Canola oil to cover skillet by 1/8-inch
2 eggs
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
Directions
Slice the block of tofu into 4 equal portions. Place the slices on paper towels and fold the towels over in both directions to cover the tofu. Place a baking sheet on top of the tofu and weigh it down with a 28-ounce can of tomatoes for 1 hour.

Combine the sherry vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, and hot pepper sauce and place the tofu into the marinade. Marinate for 15 minutes on each side.

Place the flour into a shallow dish and the eggs into another. Lightly beat the eggs.

Heat the canola oil in the skillet over medium-high heat.

Remove tofu from marinade and drain on paper towels to remove any excess marinade.

Lightly dredge the tofu in the flour, knocking off any excess flour and slide into the eggs until completely, but thinly, coated on both sides.

Slide tofu gently into the hot oil and fry for 2 minutes until golden brown and delicious. Flip the tofu using the tongs, and cook for another 2 minutes.

And here is the finished product.. all mixed together

And the best part of the whole thing was my husband... He said he loved it, that I need to make it more often, and that it was better than rest restaurant Chinese food! (And he doesnt lie... if he doesnt like something, he will tell me so that I dont make it again lol)

Maybe A little too much Green...

2010-03-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

So I am sure most of you are aware, St. Patty's day just came and went. It was a busy day for us, so I have not shared our pictures with anyone. I thought here would be a great place to do it. I put the corned beef in the crock pot. The kiddos ate and then dressed in their St. Patty's day tops then we went out to run some errands. After the errands were ran we went to the park where the kids played and played.
Here they are in their shirts

Then we went for a short walk up to the local shopping center, we bought some items to make goodies for later. We stopped for a drink and a snack, then back home.

Johnny went down for a nap while Aurora and I baked some St.Patty's day desserts.

Finally, When daddy came home, we had corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes. With green cookies and green swirl cake for dinner....

After dinner, I had to run off to class.
However this was not the last of green we would see lol.

Thoughts run swiftly through my head, If only I could catch one and hold onto it!

2010-03-24T23:54:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately. Let us start with my favorite subject, my kids.

Aurora has been doing so well on her potty training, if it weren't for her lack of night time potty training, then I would call her potty trained. She wears underwear during the day with a rare accident, maybe once every two weeks or a month. She still wears pull ups at night, though most of the night she wakes up and they are dry. She is a talker, like her mommy. Oh my how that little girl can talk! Mommy what time is it? Mommy what color is this? or my newest favorite, Eyy Eyee Captain mommy! (I have no clue where she found this little phrase, but I think its adorable!) She can recognize colors now, but does not get them perfect all the time. She also can count 1 to 10, but has not mastered the skill quite yet. She can go higher, but she starts making more slip ups as the time goes on. I am not forcing her to learn these things, she just does. She has such an imagination! We will go to the park and play with the pretend store. She will get leaves and they will be all kind of food, as well as money. Currently she is obsessed with all of the classic Disney movies. She is also a big animal lover. Recently we went on a little trip with a neighbor and her son, to his school farm. There she was able to see a few different farm animals and feed a goat. She loved it. Here is a recent picture of my love, my doodle.

Now to talk about my little boy, Johnny. This little one has my will. Today he was determined to touch my brand new printer, I would tell him no. Then he would look and me, smile and try again. I would smack his hand and move him away. This repeated about five times before I said it was time for all of us to leave my bedroom. The laundry would just have to wait. My aunt tells me that I was the same exact way. Aurora has always been a more compliant child, not that she does not have her moments. When we all took our trip to the farm, johnny was leery of the animals and gave them all a wide berth. He is a musical child. Since the moment of his birth music has been a part of his life. When born he would scream and scream and yet rocking and humming made him happy. This was the instant after his birth. This was so noticeable that our delivery nurse mentioned it. To this day he has kept up the love of music. If a tune comes on that he likes, which is most music, he will sway back and forth, as well as attempt to dance. He says a few words now, grandpa, mommy, ball, no (a favorite of his), go, car, aunt suss, nana, etc. Here is a new picture of my dudsey.

Well my friend our financial peace university is going well, still going. We are still paying off debt, but we are keeping up the debt snowball. I think we may have our credit cards paid off by August, then our car by next March or so. Then it will be time to tackle the student loan debt and I believe we will begin our emergency fun then as well. (Seeing as the student loans could take some time)

On another note. John is doing well in school (as always). I think he will be scheduled to graduate with his B.A. in about a year and a half. I am still working on my general req's for my AA degree. Though it seems to be coming to an end, but then I will need to tackle my major req's. This is where I lose my mind. My current major is Chemistry. I have been giving it some though and I am considering a Biochem major. My lit teacher would like me to minor in literature. Maybe I will, time will tell. I have so much to think about.

And then at last let us close with my thoughts. I would have to say I have had issues dealing with myself lately. Not that I am sad, upset or even depressed. I love my life, but I have this personality.. where I feel like I need to know how everything works, to experience many things. I see things around me and I think I could do that. I want to know how to do everything. My math teacher has a calculus class prior to the current math I am in, I stare at the board in sheer curiosity. I want to know what it all means. Or I see images of a social lite college student. I think I could do that, I could have been that kind of person.

But then alas I can not do everything. lol... I have been blessed with two beautiful children and a wonderful loving husband. I am ready to follow the path God would lead us down and accept his trials and blessings to come.

Love,
Mrs.JohnBrown

Trust in the Lord

2010-02-28T13:08:00.000-08:00

That was the sermon today. Trust in the Lord with our lives, with our whole self, our future, with everything, but especially with our fear. It was a great sermon. They incorporate great songs and clips of videos, commercials, tons of stuff that coincide with what we are discussing in the bible. John seemed to enjoy this sermon than the last. So as of right now, we are hoping to plant ourselves at this church. We also took Aurora for the first time to this church. She had not been to a church or church nursery since she was nine months or so..and back then I did the nursery for that service most of the time.

However she was very excited to go, did fine when we left, and only cried a little when we returned. She was upset because she saw us and ran to meet us, but had to go back inside to get her coat, I think she thought we were leaving her again, but once she realized we weren't, she was fine. She said she enjoyed herself, she "played", colored a little bible verse book, and had a good time. So she will happily be returning with us next week. The next step is introducing johnny. Hubby and I are uncertain about how he is gong to take this. However at some point we will have to attempt it. Currently he stays at home with grandpa, but I think in the next two weeks we are going to start taking him as well.

Well I guess thats the only news I really have to report for now. : )

Annoyed...

2010-02-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

My hubby had his yearly review at work today. He is always a model employee. Has never called in sick, always gets great reviews (which means the best raise they give), etc. Well last year he got in trouble for using the internet at work. I dont know how many people remember this, but they put him on paid leave and we feared he was going to lose his job. Yet when they found out he was just doing school work in his lunch times and such, they gave him a final warning and that was it (They thought his school program had been hacking their system, which turned out to be not the case)

So fast forward to almost a year later. He is up for his review, his probation period has been over since September... In every category he received, exceeds expectations, as always. Yet that one mishap took him down to, sometimes meets expectations! His bonus was reduced (Oh well) and he gets NO raise! Nothing, nada, zero, zip...

Oh well.. thats life, part of me is really mad at the company because obviously he does above and beyond what they ask, he scored the best he could in every category, but then again I do realize he was breaking the rules by using the internet to do his school work.. I just don't know if the punishment fits the crime. Yet his work has a no exceptions policy (something I didnt know about) and he cant even complain to hr.

They made him the unofficial admin of a certain program, so now he is all upset because he is currently doing more work for the same pay. The worst part is it is all up to HR so there is no point to complain, his bosses have no say in it. His boss did give a little hope. His boss did inform him that they are trying to make him the Official admin, and they said they are working on getting him that title and a raise. Yet we know not to count on any of it. He has been promised so many promotions in the past (by different bosses) that we know enough to not count on any of it.

Im not as upset by the whole thing as much as my poor hubby is. I know that the money doesn't matter, we will be fine without it. But he feels like he could have or should have been a horrible employee the whole year, not covered for anyone, half-a##ed his work and he would have ended up with the same ending score. But no, he worked his butt off and he still gets screwed over : (

FPU- Week 1

2010-02-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

Financial Peace University Class one!!

It went well, It was hilarious and we really enjoyed it. John and I look forward to getting out of debt, giving, and saving. We also can't wait to get more involved in this church. : )

Been busy.

Keeping the ball rolling....

2010-02-13T19:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we have paid off a few more credit cards... just left with two that have balances... one with a lower balance and one with a higher...We will have those paid of by September, possibly sooner. We will see how we do at the yard sale. The yard sale money will be going to paying off our credit card debt.

Today we went through and reorganized the storage room at the back of the building. Next weekend and possibly slowly over the next week, we will be going through our storage that we pay for and throwing stuff out, putting stuff in the yard sale pile and moving stuff into the house or storage here. We found even more stuff to sell while going through the back room, I know we will find more to sell in our storage.. We are on a roll.

We would work on it tomorrow, BUT john picked up some overtime, soo after we go to check out a new church he will be heading off to work : ( But any overtime he works is more to put towards being debt free!

Once we have the cards paid off we will be doubling up the car payment. Then when income tax comes around, we will put what we get back to paying off the car, if there is any leftover then it will go to paying off the student loans. Once the car is paid off then we will attack the student loans. They are quite extensive, so I fear it may take us at least two years or longer for them alone. We will see ; )

The kids are doing good. Auroras eye infection seems to be completely gone, we did all the drops. Today she was able to go back to ballet class, which she was very excited about. Johnny is good, just here there and everywhere, picking up new words all the time. I am trying to work ahead on my school work.

Oh and we got new tires for the car, it was badly needed. I guess the front tires were almost bald, we were happily able to pay cash. We will also be paying cash for our vacation in a little over a week. I almost feel guilty for going on this little vacation because we could be putting the money towards the bills. Yet we did scale down our vacation considerably (We are talking thousands of dollars here...)

Feeling a bit down

2010-02-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, so today has had its ups and its downs. Tomorrow we will finish baby step number 1. Then it looks like another card will get paid off tomorrow, which is awesome. And part of another card will get a big payment to it.

We wrote out our monthly budget, which was cool. Now we have to stick to it. Yet a few people have been negative about this.. Which I know Im to expect, but man it brings you down... But oh well. I WILL DO THIS!

Oh and I am pilling even more stuff for our yard sale, we picked a day. Just in case anyone close by is interested...we will have things like an old xbox plus games, kids toys, kids clothes, a crib, a bath safe seat, a tv, tv stand, possibly a zune (just depends on whether we want to sell it there online...), a single stroller, so on and so forth..

Im so excited

2010-02-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

And I know that some people think thats weird.. but i am. Im excited to be on our path to getting out of debt. Honestly I knew we were heading down that road, but now I feel as thought we have a stronger foundation and I have a fellow blogger on her to thank for that! I am a follower of her blog and I have often heard her mention Dave Ramsey... here is her blog:

http://zarikailah.blogspot.com/

Her blog inspired me to find out just who this man is! I had never heard of him, so I googled him, found his website and found out what he was all about. That made me even more interested and now Im halfway through his book that I bought yesterday and PUMPED UP. We will be doing a garage sale, we have so much useless junk around here..useless to us at least, but its mostly in good condition. We are just such pack rats... its time to start getting rid of some of this. So we will see how we do at the garage sale, but whatever we make is going towards paying down the bills... If we keep it up maybe we can be debt free sooner than I thought!

Oh and I already have naysayers! People dont think we can do it, and while I do question at times whether I can, I know that if we sacrifice and work hard we can do it

Its time to be DEBT free!

2010-02-06T18:24:00.000-08:00

Maybe If I post this in some public forum it will give me even more drive to see it through. John and I have decided that this year is the year we will get ourselves completely out of credit card debt. Actually we have a five year plan to help us succeed in our financial goals. This year we are just focusing on credit card debt, next year we will be focusing on paying off our car.

I don,t feel like we have a ton of credit card debt, but the amount has grown over the years and we have more than i would like to, like to being zero lol. So right now I paid off one of my cards, one of the lower balances, but a card nonetheless and called and had the card shut down. I know this may negatively affect my credit for sometime, but I felt it was the best route. I do not need it anymore, actually I am appalled at how many credit cards I own, I have already decided to close a few..keeping one major and one minor for emergencies.

John and I need to learn to cut spending in areas that we spend to excess. John is an avid video gamer... and we just dont need all these gadgets.. and my kryptonite is kids clothes, I LOVE to shop for clothes for our kids.. So alas, I will cut back out of necessity! (They are running out of room in the closet!..which i already have plastic pull out bins at the bottom and double hanger rods)

We also need to eat out less...which we actually have been doing for awhile now..we jut have to keep it up. When I worked for that short time, we fell into a bad habit of eating out..but when I quit we have worked to getting back to eating at home.

And of course we have other goals for the next five years.. ; )

And if i were an OSCAR MEYER weiner...

2010-01-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today I heard the Oscar Meyer weinie mobile was going to be at our local grocery store. But that will come later.

This morning I got to sleep in for two hours, which was very nice. Then I got up and dressed Aurora for ballet/tap. Dad took johnny for us, while John and I took Aurora to her class. She did alright, still not listening to the teachers 100%, they said that will come in time. She will randomly say she needs to see mommy and daddy and try to leave. Its kinda painful to watch lol. But she is so excited to go and she enjoys the class, but she just needs to learn to listen to someone other than her mommy and daddy.

After that we came home. John left for work. I changed her clothes, listened to some loud country music and completely cleaned the living room. As soon as dad came home with johnny we set off. Dad, Me, the two kiddos, Ross, and my friend nikki and her boyfriend jason. We went to the grocery store and sang a song, got wenie whistles, and stickers, then got to see the inside and outside of the weenie mobile. Then we did some grocery shopping and went home.

Once at home we got home I just did some odds and ends stuff around the house, put dinner in the oven, then went to the movies, came home, finished dinner with the kids. Bathed the kiddos and all that, put them to bed, now here I am... waiting for john to be home soon : )

Bzzzz

2010-01-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ive been a busy bee lol.

Ive had school, Mondays and Wensdays I have math, which im doing pretty good in so far... heres hoping that with studying, doing my homework, and going to every class Ill continue to do well. I also have English online, which ive got assignments done ahead of time, and i am doing well. It comes easier to me than math.

The kids and I have been walking every day, that it hasnt rained. We have really enjoyed our little walks, we cant go too far, my father likes to go with us and complains if we walk too far. The house is relatively cleaned, not to perfection, thats what im going to work on this next week. Ive decided to give myself a week of projects then a week of cleaning. Ive been sewing a lot the past few days..making aurora a ton of stuff.

Ive got decorations up for valentines day. Aurora has a few clings that she put up for valentines day. She has also started tap and ballet on Saturdays. So that keeps us busy.

I think Im going to take them to the childrens museum tomorrow. They really enjoy it. Saturday we have a whole day of plans. Just keeping busy.

We spent the entire day at disneyland today. The kids had a blast.

Blah blah blah BLAH

2009-12-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

So work has officially ended YAY. as of last thursday.. Last Thursday was also when i threw my back out. It felt off at work, but not horrible. Came home, took some Tylenol and went with my hubby to a special preview screening of The young victoria. My back was feeling worse by the minute.. then they did a drawing for posters... and i was surprised when my name was the last one called!So i jumped up and walked down, received my prize and went back to my seat.. the jumping up must have made things worse cause at this point my back was shooting pain... But i sat very very still and it seemed to go away or at least be tolerable. Well the movie was over, it was GREAT by the way, hubby and I both loved it. But on the way home I was in AGONY..tears, every movement hurt and even sitting still was excruciating pain.. called my dad in tears and we decided to head to the emergency room. I called the advice nurse on the way and she recommended I go home, sleep on the floor, use a heating pad while awake every 20 minutes...etc.. So i did, but was in so much pain, i needed help to get up or down, to get dressed, to go to the restroom, i couldnt stand straight up. Went to the docs the next day, diagnosed with muscle spasms. Rest, muscle relaxants, motrin 800... I was told that the meds would make johnny groggy. So my origonal intentions were to wean but after taking the meds for a day and not nursing johnny i decided to avoid the meds during the day and nurse johnny at night.

Well we had johns work christmas party sat night, i rested all the way up till that night.. also my aunts christmas party the next day. TGhe kids and I are sick..they are pretty congested. We took aurora to the doc the same day i went, but they said she should get better soon without anything but home care, etc.

Anyways. I have more to write, but dont feel like writing it just right now.. will try and update soon, if anyone even reads this lol

low self esteem day

2009-11-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

I have some very pretty and fashionable family. Now don't get me wrong, I have always thought I was/am pretty. But Ive always been heavyset and more and more I feel like Im always going to be heavyset. Although I went to the gym today, but I did horrible on food.. Ive got to get it all back under control. Ive gained about 10 pounds back since ive stopped going to the gym and since ive stopped watching what i eat. I need to get back on the ball casue I had lost about 50 pounds..

But anyways. I was at a party with my family today. And my beautiful family was there, they are so fashionable, so skinny.. I just felt crappy. Made more so by the fact that I was wearing gym clothes, i dunno what i was thinking, i had just come from the gym.. Oh well...

Anyways.. I haven't bought new clothes in ages, most of my clothes aren't in great shape anymore. But im always more interested in buying for the kids than for me. I ordered some new clothes from one of my fave shops that was having a clearance sale, just a shirt and skirt. Im exctied to get them.

Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. I was planning on getting to the gym again, but my mom wants to get together. Ill have to make time later in the day. Im going to try and go for at least 30 min every day that I dont have to work.

I hate money...

2009-11-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

Thats a lie... I don't hate money itself, its just paper or coin and actually i find its aesthetics kinda cool. I hate dealing with money, money issues, finances, the want or need of money, other peoples want or need of money, etc...

This morning started off kinda rushed. I needed to be at work at 10:30. So got up with john, who worked at 10 today, even though it was his day off. They called him yesterday when we were at the zoo. So anyways. We both get up, john gets the kids started with breakfast while i start some laundry, hang some laundry, bring some laundry in, etc. Then i come in and I take over feeding the kids. John leaves while we are still at the breakfast table. I brush their teeth, brush their hair, do auroras hair, wipe them down and all that jazz. Then I get them dressed, take the trash out, bring more laundry in and put it away. My dad comes over cause he has to babysit while i'm at work. So im getting dressed and getting ready.

So then I check what time i need to be there by, because I really wanted to rush out to the grocery store. Well when i checked my phone it turned out I didnt need to be there till 11:30, which was awesome cause I really needed to get some stuff done. So i finish getting dressed. I go to do the bills real quick cause john just got paid last night. Well Im doing Quicken and check my bank account and we got a ton of overdraft fee's and im like WTH! Call the bank and well we have had some issues with them, dont want to go into it just cause im sick of talking about it.. They waived a few of the fees... but not all of them. But im focusing on the fact that they waived a few, which is better than nothing ugh. But we do think we may be switching banks.. We have accounts at another one anyways, so we may just fully move there.

Anyways I put all that aside for later tonight, pretty much finished just need to put some stamps on and send them off. Well then I headed off to the grocery store with dad and the kids to deal with my other issue. The wonderful world of being a woman. I started AF yesterday while at the zoo.. Today was day 2 of my cycle. Lately day 2 has been VERY heavy flow, like soak a regular tampon in three or less hours. So I was very concerned about being at work. We dont have consistent breaks. I wanted double coverage, a tampon and a pad. Sorry TMI I know lol. So got to the store, bought the pads and some snacks for work. Back to the car, went with dad to drop of one of his bill payments. Then he dropped me off at work.

Work went by very fast, I never knew how busy it got in there! Next thing I knew it was over and I walked outside to see my dad holding my beautiful baby boy.. Aurora was asleep in her carseat. I cuddled with johnny, took him inside to show him off to my coworkers. I cant believe how big he is getting. Dad and I went to get some food because all I had today was snacks. Headed home and shared my burger with aurora when she woke up, changed clothes, nursed johnny, played on farmville, played with the kids.

Crawled all over on the floor with the kiddos, played pony, follow the leader, etc. John got home, I bathed both the kiddos. Read "Zoo Mac" one of the kids fave books. Then Aurora said prayers and they went to bed.

Now here I am, i should be studying, but I need a break sometime lol. I will be soon though.

Aurora is picking up stuff so fast now. She counts from 1 to 16. Can sing halfway through her ABC's, helps sing twinkle twinkle little star.

Johnny is walking more and more. I cant believe how fast my baby is growing up.

Yesterday was Flu Shot day...

2009-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

I had planned on taking the kids down Saturday morning for their flu shots. The clinic that our healthcare was giving was kind of a distance for us, but for some reason they never listed as one coming closer to us when i called the flu clinic hotline. Sat. morning I go on the web to get directions to this clinic and lo and behold it lists the health care office that we attend regularly for doc appointments will begin a clinic on Tues. I decided to just wait till Tuesday.

So Tuesday rolls around, I had spend sat, sun, and Monday working. Two four hour shifts and a six hour shift, and I also had class Monday night. Ive been away from the kids more than im comfortable with. Actually I came home sat night and I cried. But i know that im doing this for them, for christmas and for our future. It will only last till January. So im pushing and pushing through. I dont have to work again till thursday, so that makes me feel better.

So anyways. Ive been away from them a lot and the first day I have with them I get to take them for shots, yay we love mommy..lol... Ive had their clothes laid out since Sat, when i thought i was taking them. I made sure they worse sleeveless things, so we didn't have to hassle with clothes amidst the crying and such. So Tues. morning I feed them, dress them, brush their teeth, do auroras hair, etc. Just normal morning mommy things. And i loved it : )

Well then john leaves for work, johnny is crying and crying. Poor little guy, i picked him up and comforted him. Then I gave my dad a call, told him the we are ready when he is. He comes on over and we all load up in his car to go get our flu shots. We got there about 7 minutes after they opened the clinic. I thought about getting there early, but I figured there was no rush.

We get there and the place is packed! No line to sign in, but a massive line to get the actual shot. Not really a line, so much as a mob of people. The chairs were all taken, there was people sitting on the floor, people standing against the walls. It was packed! We ended up sitting on a little bench close by the kids pediatric area, well of course aurora wanted to go play, but i kept thinking how sick kids might be playing with it, all the germs and such. But we were there for 2 hours! So I ended up caving in after a half hour or so.

So I move over to watch her and father is holding johnny, but I can tell johnny is getting ancy, so I go pick him up. I was planning on walking around with him while watching aurora play, but he had other plans. The instant he saw kids playing, he wanted down in the worst way. I let him down. Wasnt happy about it though. So he played happily and so did she. My dad comes over and I was pretty mad cause he gave up our seats. I had left my purse behind so we could move back over there when the time came.

I knew at some point johnny would want to nurse. It was coming. So dad found a seat by the kids area, but no place for me to sit. One lady moved to another seat so that we could both sit, mostly because she heard me bitching, oh well lol...

So the reading lady reads books to them, they play. Aurora made friends with another little girl who was waiting, Brooke, who was 2 almost 3. They played and danced. Aurora bumped her head while dancing and i comforted her and so did brooke. Eventually Brooke and her mom went in.

At that point i made friends with another mom there. With a boy who was maybe 3 or 4 and a 2 1/2 yr old little girl with a paci stuck in her mouth. Side note..but i hate seeing kids walking around with those things...

Anyways. Her kids were pretty friendly, her daughter was in love with johnny, but she wanted nothing to do with Aurora. Was afraid of her. Aurora ran off to sit with grandpa, who had moved back to our old spot so that he could hear the names a little better when called. I forgot to mention that for a good 1/2 or so johnny fell asleep on grandpas shoulder.

Well anyways, this lady's little boy took the clip out of my hair, i didn't mind, and made up different things for it. First it was an alligator lol. Her daughter just stuck around johnny. At some point aurora came back, tickled johnnys tummy and said, dudder how you doin?

The little girl got upset and didnt want aurora near johnny, her mommy had to explain that it was okay because she was his sister.

Anyways. Aurora starts asking to go eat, then to go to McDonald's...ugh... The entire time she kept saying, me flu shot now, me turn, me turn. Me get flu shot. She was excited about it... Finally we move back over to where dad was sitting, the amount of people thinned out a lot.

Johnny has a hissy and I nurse him and of course the instant I start nursing him they call us.We go back there, and answer more questionnaires. They ask if the kids are getting both shots. It was up to me, I decided yes... we can go into how i came to that conclusion if you like.

So then johnny and i head over to the first nurse for the regular flu shot. I come up and she is like when is his birthday, 11/21. Oh my babies is 11/6, is he walking yet? I smile and say No, but he took his first steps this morning, and she goes "Oh, we are a little slow arnt we!" WTF lady..thats not slow at all. So i was uber annoyed with her already. Aurora trots on up and cuddles next to me and this lady goes "Oh we are a cute chunky one arnt we" WTF lady you just called my kid FAT... F you..F you! I was so mad, but i dealt with it. Plus Aurora is in no way fat..that lady was just one of those people..ugh.

So johnny gets his shot first, no crying, nothing. Aurora gets hers, no crying. I get mine.. i start bawling..NAH...just kidding, lol, no crying. Then we head on over to the swine flu station. Aurora is playing with grandpa who also got his. Johnny gets his shot.. The dumb nurse, whose name is Donna btw...still thinking about complaining, sticks him with the needle and FORGETS to inject the flu shot! So she has to stick him again, that is where he lost it and honestly I would have too. His body went hard and he starts crying. My dad comes to the rescue and walks him out of the room so i can hold aurora for her shot.

She climbs into my lap with her baby doll and tells me that its her baby's turn. The nurse gives her baby a band aid. Then she tells me that "me already got mine" Poor girl knew it was coming again. So they gave her a shot and she cried about thirty seconds and we left. They gave her a pin and three stickers. I gave them some Tylenol when we got back to the car and we went to McDonald's : )

Honestly I think they were such champs about it!

After we ate we went to game stop and surprised daddy with Forza 3. Then we went to babies r us and bought some stuff for johnny's bday party. Decorations/toys that will be his. Then home. Took a little nap, tried to get aurora to nap. Completely forgot that i needed to get to school early cause i had to buy a scan tron.

So i call the school bookstore make sure they have them and head off to the school. Dad drops me off, cause john is normally leaving work when i head to school. My car just isnt up for the distance. Anyways, he drops me off in front of the bookstore. Im super early. It takes me a second to find what im looking for and I bought pre sharpened pencils because the ones i had were broken.

Then off to class. I get there early and talk with a girl there, who thought that i was a singly mom who was only 19! I set the info straight. Went in when it was time and took the midterm. I think I did well, cant wait to find out. Ive got more to say about class, but this is long enough as it is. lol

Wont have much time...

2009-10-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

But I did want to jump on here and give everyone a quick update. I doubt that anyone really reads this..lol. Its more of a journal. But its still nice to jot things down once in awhile. Well I got a part time job for the holidays. Im actually pretty excited about it. Its to save up for a house, pay down some bills, and buy christmas gifts with cash. I also started my second class today, its 2 nights a week for nine weeks. I am now taking psychobiology and history 103.

Psychobiology has been a fun and interesting course. History seems like it is going to be fun. My teacher really seems to love what he is teaching and is very structured. As always I will be aiming for a perfect score, we will see where we end up. I have confidence that i can pull it off or come close.

The kids are doing good, getting bigger everyday. I cant believe johnny is almost one. Im currently working on his birthday plans...its gonna be a small gathering, aurora freaked out at the large first bday party we had for her, so this time around Im going to try and keep it low key for him, so that he isnt overwhelmed. Its coming up really close though. I think i have the location finally nailed down...its everything else I have to work on.

Johnny is doing good, he has taken a step from the table to me, stands alone and is a freaking monkey. He is always climbing now, everywhere. Its got me a bit concerned.

Aurora is doing good. I think can finally say that she is potty trained. She has been doing so well, full panties. Hardly any accidents..they are becoming more and more rare. She is telling us she needs to go. She is also talking up a storm, the things she says, it amazes me.

John wants to start teaching the kids some learning stuff..which i think would be cool.

Oh and I think im going to try to do black friday this year, wish me luck, i never have.

OMG I want to voimit..

2009-09-28T17:49:00.001-07:00

So today the kiddos and I went to my friend Deja's. She took us on a five mile walk then the kids played in her back yard and then we ate lunch. We let them run and play and tucker themselves out.

We got home, I put aurora on the potty and then I put them both down for a nap. I knew aurora would most likely get up and play, but i was hoping and praying that either she played herself to sleep or she just went to sleep. After awhile i heard no noise and i thought, hm maybe she did go to sleep. After it had been a bit i heard noises again and I thought Ill go in there and get them, assess the situation and if they havent napped ill put them down individually later.

Well i walk in and auroras bed is (Was...I just moved it) the first thing you see when you walk in. She is playing in the center of the room. The first thing i noticed is that she got into some hat boxes i had in there and apparently there was stuff left in it and it was strewn everywhere. Crinkled little pieces of blue and pink paper, EVERYWHERE... Great..but i cant get made at her, I left it in there.

So then she says "Mommy, Dudder (brother) poopied, mommy, Dudder poopied."

I continue walking in "Oh he did baby"

Then i turn the corner of the entrance to the room and i see my son standing at the side of his crib, simling at me. My eyes go from him to a brown spot on his head then to the diaper that is missing from his tushy and is currently laying in the crib and then to his hand that is covered in POOP to his mouth that has um POOP around his lips!

Inwardly I start flipping and i mean FLIPPING OUT. I pick him up and as i do so i step on a piece of POOP! I look down and the floor is littered with little pieces of poop. I rush him into the tub, shirt and all. Turn the water on and start to clean, his hand his face. And then I realize i can call my dad. So i do

"Dad I need you here RIGHT NOW.." I was flipping out. I then get on the phone with john and tell him. Im still bathing johnny. Im like WHAT DO I DO.

Dad shows up and the consensus was call the doctors. So I did, but ended up on hold with the advice nurse while i started cleaning my sons bed.I felt so embarrassed when i was on the phone trying to get the advice nurse and they were like "Whats your concern" "UM, i think my son ate his own poop" The phone literally when quiet for a few seconds. "Okay" and then i get transfered, I got transfered again because they thought it would be best if i spoke with the doctor. So they were leaving her a message and I asked the lady if there was anything I could do (I dont think she was a nurse...) and she said "Oh I think all kids go through something like this" and i was like "my daughter didnt" she responded with "Oh well she is a girl".... I was like...ha ha.. (not really) okay... bed was littered in poop. There was poop smeared the railing of his crib, on the slats of the crib, everywhere! I literally tore the entire bedroom apart and disinfected EVERYTHING. I found two small pieces of poop in auroras bed...dunno what was going on there.. and so i washed her sheets with his sheets. I moved his crib across the room. Found poop BEHIND the crib.

They told me that it would be best to speak to his doc so they left her a a message, i was told i would most likely hear back this afternoon, so far nothing.. He seems to be in a fine mood and is currently napping in his newly cleaned crib.

Then my dad, who had finished bathing johnny for me, gave me each of the kids and I brushed both their teeth with toothpaste and baby toothpaste (i dont think aurora actually ate any poop...just wanted to clean her up too). I washed both their eyes out... Please GOD dont let them get pinkeye...

I called my friend Deja to tell her all about it....

We dont know if he took his own diaper off, he has done it before in front of me and I quickly put it back on, at the time he was wearing a pocket diaper. OR aurora could have helped him take his diaper off, we asked her and she said yes, but she says yes to everything. I could ask her if she took my pants off when she didnt and she would say yes. I had put johnny down in a tshirt and diaper so he would be a little cooler but from now on out we will be putting pants, onesie..etc on him.

So yup..thats my story.. It was the most disgusting thing ive ever seen or done in my life....

Mortality

2009-09-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

I hadnt intended on writing another blog tonight. But now i feel like i need to put my emotions somehwere, because if i dont they will just sit inside of me and churn. It may be my youth, but I am having a very hard time dealing with the death of my grandparents. My grandfather died about 8 years ago and I always felt like grandpas little girl. I was very close to my grandma as well, though we could butt heads at times, but I loved her so much. She passed away March 1st of this year. And I get by because I forget. I forget that she isnt just as the hospital or at her house.

My cousin made a beautiful picture and some video collage for her funeral. It has some beautiful music to it. I stumbled upon it today and added it to my myspace. I showed it to Aurora and johnny, because I dont want them to forget grandma, aurora was very close to her. I cried, i tried to contain it though because the kids were sitting there as well.

Well I had a comment about it today from a friend, mentioning how beautiful it was, and it truely is. But then i watched it again. I watched it because I wanted to see her face. I wanted to see her youth, her age, her movements in her videos. I just wanted to see her again. Of course it is filled with images of grandpa too. I sobbed..

Have you ever wanted someone back so bad it hurt? What I wouldnt give to lay with my head in her lap again and tell her my troubles while she combs my hair. She took care of me everyday and I tried to return the favor as an adult whenever I could. She was more like a mom than a grandma.

I want to shout from the tops of my lungs. I WANT HER BACK. Yes she lived a long, happy, blessed life. Yet I still feel this gaping hole in me. I cant just call and chat with her like i used to. She isnt here to see aurora chatting up a storm or johnny cruising around. Im so blessed she was able to see them at all.

And then to make matters worse, I keep thinking Oh my lord one day I WILL die.. I have a very big fear of death. I have actually cried when Ive thought about it before. I know as a human it is hard for all of us to deal with our mortality. The idea of just not existing is so scary, so different. And honestly I dont want to die, but then again WHO DOES?

I try to hold strong in my faith, but my new psychobiology class, which i do find ineresting, does seem to push the monism aspect. That there is no soul, that when we die, we are dead and gone. And honestly why should that bother me, but it does. When I die, i hope to see my babies again someday far far away.

My youth is getting the best of me, right now I havent lived that long of a life. But I did ask my grandma about a year ago...I told her I was scared of death, but she seemed okay with it. She said she had lived her life. Someday I know, i hope, i will reach that point.......

Someday I hope to see my grandma again, though biblicaly speaking I dont think we will recognize each other but be united in a praising of the Lord.

Thanks for listening to my blubbering.. I sound like a silly child I know..But right now I really feel like one too...

and if you havent seen it, here is the video

My Grandma Mina

Today

2009-09-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

So right now Im winding down from what seems like a busy day. Whether or not it really was is really dependent on your terms lol. My body aches from my lower back down. Im not sure why, though I have a few scenerios.

Last night was a little odd, out of the norm. Johnny woke up at around four am and his crying woke aurora up. Aurora cried when we brought johnny into our room to nurse. But went right back to sleep. She then started crying an hour or so later when johnny was already back in the room with her. She was saying "want" in her sleep and crying. John went in and woke her up. She wet the bed. He went to take her to the restroom and she said she wanted mommy. He changed her undies and she came into bed with us, bad I know, but we rarely do it. She said cuddle mommy. LOL. So i cuddled her. I dont know what was wrong. But she laid with us a bit then went back to her own bed. When john went to put her back down I asked him to rip the sheets off, but aparently he didnt hear me so he laid her back down on pee damp sheets! He said you can go back in and do it, but I knew it would upset aurora if I did and he assured me that they werent very wet at all. When i took them off in the morning he was right.

Anyways. This morning was normal, actually not really, I did get to sleep in an extra thrity minutes, because Aurora did too. Johnny woke up on time, but he nursed for a long time this morning and nursing on my side allowed me to kind of drift in and out of sleep. We all got up, Aurora had an accident in her crib again. She went like two weeks dry at night, Im not sure why she is wetting the bed all of a sudden (although again i have a few scenerios, maybe too much liquid before bed or getting cold at night..). So I changed her panties and johnnys diaper. Put Aurora on the potty and she went like she normally does in the morning. Cleaned the potty out and let the kids play for about twenty minutes. I chilled on the couch and played with my computer. Aurora came up to me on the couch and then laid her head down and started crying for no reason. Then came to me and cuddled right up to me. Then I made us all breakfast and my dad came over for some reason. He pops by A LOT, most of the time I dont mind. This morning he fed johnny his cereal. Then we went into the bathroom like we always do. I clean them off, brush their teeth, and their hair. Take them into their room and procede to get them dressed for the day.

Their room has a gate on it, a recent addition in preperation for when we move aurora to a toddler bed, and its pretty much completely baby proof. There are a few minor things id like to do, like apply a latch to the closet so aurora cant pull all her clothes out lol. There isnt actually anything dangerous in there, but it does make quite a mess for me. Those of you who have been to my apartment know that i can see striaght down the hall from my room to theirs. So I got dressed and all that. Dad came over because he was going to go run my errands with me. That way i dont have to drive the grandma mobile.. My grandmas car that i inherited back in april and it has some issues. Though its good for around town right now.

Anyways I think some of you know that the buildings washing machine is broken. I already called and they cant come out until the 22nd, which was a day short of two weeks from when it broke. Most of you prolly know that im cloth diapering and potty training, so a washing machine is pretty important in my daily life. I was AT LEAST one load of laundry a day, but normally two or more. Well no washer means that I have to go to a laundry mat or do it at a family members house. While my mother was fully willing to let me use her washer, I didnt want to spend the entire day there washing my laundry when i could get it all done in one shot at the laundry mat. As it was I already had a few loads built up because I had let it go for the days preceding auroras birthday and after because i was sick. And then i let it go another day because the machine broke when i was trying to use it. So i had a few days built up. Since then I have gone 3 times to the laundry mat. Right now I am going pretty much every other day...Although i will be going tomorrow so that will make two days in a row. This will be explained later.

Some may ask why do i cloth diaper and potty train? Well its a personal choice I know. It really has nothing to do with being enviornmentally friendly, though this is a positive benefit. It is more so because I actually enjoy it. It also saves us money (I think, i havent really done the math on this...) Aurora is cloth potty trained because it seems that she has been doing better in cloth than in pull ups. She treats the pull ups just like diapers. And she has learned to rip the pull ups off just like she did with her cloth diapers. She also enjoys wearing "big girl undies" lol...as she and I call them.

Back to my day though..lol. My father went to lunch with a friend, so i cleaned both bathrooms. I still have to clean the glass and mop the floors, but i cleaned the counters, toilets, and sinks. I collected any dirty laundry I had, because I wanted to make sure I got it all done in this trip. A friend of mine gave me some spray oxyclean to try it out, packed that in, hangers, etc. When dad came back we loaded up and headed off. We tried a third laundry mat. The first one was kinda pricey, the second was cheaper but dirtier, but this third one was perfect. It was clean, it was midway in price between the two, but it was very well kept. I did four loads, washed, dried, and folded.

While we were there Aurora wanted to go potty frequently. She doesnt really say anything to us to tell us she needs to go, She grabs her bits (bits being crotch lol) and looks at us. Well dad must have taken her three times and I took her at least three as well. She went the first time but every time after she just talked and did nothing. Though she was letting off some smelly gas. We came to the conclusion that she just liked watching us pay the quarter to take her in and then sit and then leave. Well I think after what happened she actually had to go to the restroom, but unlike at home where she can sit comfortably for a period of time, she was uncomfortable and out of the ordinary. It was too much to ask for her to sit still long enough to go. Well I was folding, all the laundry was done. Both kids were getting tired and ready for their nap. Johnny had been playing on the folding table in front of me, but grandpa took him so i could expidite the process.

I looked back at Aurora who was standing two feet behind me and she was holding the table and it was obvious what she was doing. I went right to her but it was too late. She had gone, no pee, just poop. Grandpa, the champ, took a clean pair of undies and wipes and went to the restroom to clean her up. While i finished up the laundry with johnny. He came out and I had the laundry all clean. But now I had a pair of brand new dirty undies. They needed to go home and nap, because we had plans later in the day, but now this dirty pair of undies was going to have to sit for at least two days! I soaked the thing in oxyclean (which i love by the way..lol) and put them in a plastic baggie. Loaded up the clean folded and hung laundry. Headed home. Oh and I also went to the post office and to get food before we went to the laundry mat.

Got home, unloaded the car and proceeded to nurse johnny. Aurora was playing with this new puzzle she has that she just loves. She looked at me and grabbed her crotch. I said Aurora baby come here, because her potty is right next to me, so when im nursing i can lean over and pull her undies down for her and she can sit. She didnt come like she normally would and i could see the pee hit the carpet.. I was not a happy camper. I finished nursing johnny. I cleaned the carpet and changed her undies and put them down for their naps.

My friend nikki came over and we chatted for mabe an hour. I had to go in and wake the kids up, dress aurora in pants so that we could go to the Fire Department tour. We packed up the car and I headed off. We arrived a few mintues late, but it seems so did everyone else. I had johnny in the baby bjorn and Aurora by hand. I opted to leave my purse and diaper bag in the car, since i wanted complete control of aurora, we were next to a busy street. We got in and Aurora was a little leary of all the kids and the firemen. She wanted me to pick her up and I did. One of the firemen looked over and said jokingly that some of us really had our hands full and I was like yeah...picking up a toddler with an infant strapped to your front takes some finesse lol.

We ended up sitting on the floor. Listened to their whole talk on what to do in case of a fire, etc. Watched them suit up. Aurora got scared. They took the outfit off and let the kids try on the jacket. Most of them did, aurora was too scared. Then they asked if the moms wanted to. I think i might have been the only one who volunteered and I did try it on. I also got to hold the ax. One of the moms asked how heavy it was and I said about baby weight LOL. Then we all headed out to see the Firetruck.

Omg..Aurora was so excited. She wanted to sit inside so bad. And she got to! She got out and wanted right back in. They gave all the kids plastic firehats and goodie bags. We got back to the car and I was changing johnnys diaper on the front seat. Aurora was playing in the backseat and she said pee mommy. I said do you need to go potty and she said no. I couldnt do much about it anyways. I had a half naked baby on the carseat and the firedepartment was a little bit of a walk. So I finished johnny up and put him in his seat. I went to put aurora in her seat and thats when i found out she had an accident.

I wish there could have been something I could have done, but even if we did go back I dont think we would have made it. So now I need to go wash her carseat cover tomorrow. I had no time tonight. We came home. I gave aurora a snack, johnny played till grandpa came over to see them. I made meatloaf and put it and some potatoes in the over. Switched carseats back to grandpas car, made myself a snack, fed aurora a snack and then packed up all my school supplies. I headed off to school.

Dad drives me to school. John isnt off work in time for me to take our car, and the grandma mobile just isnt up to the distance. John leaves work right about when i leave the house. So dad dropped me off and normally by the time he gets back to the house john is home to take the kids. Well class went well. We discussed animal research and then neurons. For those who dont know im currently taking psychobiology.

John picked me up after class, dad sits at the house while he does, since the kids are already asleep. I came home and my wonderful hubby had waiting till I got home to eat and even warmed the meatloaf i made in the oven while he picked me up. We got home, i changed my clothes and all that. Then we sat down to eat. I got ready to watch the big brother season finale but sadly dad had stopped my recording and only a minute was recorded, i was pretty upset lol.

But then it was sitll on so we were able to watch the end of it and I was very happy Jordan won!]

Anyways. That was my day... :)

Been Awhile

2009-09-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

Ive been so busy lately that I havent had the time to blog at all. Aurora turned two last Sunday, sheh ad a great party. The party kept me pretty preoccupied. Right now im just getting over being sick. The kids are currently napping, or they were, Johnny seems to have woken up, but we will give it a few minutes because they went down not too long ago.

But anyways.. Im rambling. I started school last month, next month I start another class.

Anyways... well thats all i really have to say for now. Hope everyone is doing good. :)

Staycation

2009-08-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I were supposed to go to Lake Tahoe with some family and friends, but everybody kinda backed out last minute..so we decided a vacation would be too costly anyways...and so we decided to have a staycation. Yesterday was day 1 and it was fun.

We slept in...i got to sleep in longer too. Made yummy breakfast, waffles, fruit and eggs and potatoes... Then lil brother napped a bit. Then we all went swimming at nanas, we had a BLAST. Then we went home and aurora and johnny napped. John and I just chilled on the couch. When the kids woke up, which wasnt very long, we got ready to go out to dinner with nana and her friend. We went to a new town, one we hadnt been to before, and tried a restaurant we had never been to before. It was good. They have hot wings that they call atomic hot wings.. and nana, ross, and john tried one... Ross and nana ate a lot..ross looked like he was going to cry and john said he felt like he was going to vomit. I steered clear of that...i dont like hot at all. I had teriyaki wings. We had a godfather pizza and then dessert. Fried Twinkies and snickers lol.

Then off to home we went. By the time we got home it was bedtime for the kiddos so john put the kids to bed while i got some laundry done in the laundry room. Then we had grandpa babysit while we went to wal mart and bought a few party supplies for auroras second bday and some picture hangers. We got back and i did some party planning, still loads more to buy..but a pretty good plan is starting to shape up in my head. Im excited.. She picked the theme and she is going to love it!

Today was a great day

2009-07-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

We got a lot done around the house today. Did all the laundry, again...seems like there is always a load to do. All kinds of household things got done today, not going to bore you with the details lol.

What i did want to say is that aurora went the whole day with only making one accident (So far..but bedtime is in thirty minutes) She actually went from 7:30/8am till 6:30pm with no accidents. Then while we were both in the kitchen and i was making dinner she had an accident by the kitchen gate. Im not sure if she was trying to make it to the potty or let me know and i was just too into what i was doing. But she went at least 5+ times in the potty today. Very proud of her.

We even went out for an hour and a half running errands and she stayed dry the entire time and went tinkle when we came back! Hope we can keep this up. : )

Soooo..Potty training fun TMI WARNING

2009-07-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

So potty training got put on the back burner lately. Cause of vacation and such. Plus we spend a lot of time away from the house..well we used to, but now im trying to stay at home as much as possible so that the kids have more play time, we have potty training time, and i have time to clean.

Staying home has been good for us, we eat healthier, the house is way cleaner which i enjoy a lot, and of course aurora gets to potty train more. I have instituted a new rule.. She is in cloth potty training panties at home, no matter what... only at night does she wear a pull up at home. Hubby and my father put their feet down about wearing cloth panties out of the house and i said alright.. but once she gets good at it then ill be putting her in cloth panties when we go out. She treats pull ups like diapers.

Well the days are so-so.. she did good yesterday. Not too many accidents.. and she told me after she had an accident. Today she has had quite a few accidents, but we are working on it and it just makes more for me to clean. I put vinyl training panties on over her regular during her nap. Sooo..funny story.. but today we went out to breakfast then we walked over to toys r us.

I checked auroras pull up when we walked in and it was dry...no accident so far. I asked her if she needed to go, but of course she said no.. i mean i dont blame her.. she was in a toy store.. lol. So we walk around for like ten minutes and we walk right past the bathroom and i say..lets go try.. if she hasnt gone she prolly will go. So i take her in.. i lysol the toilet.. and i look back and she is pushing... she is going in her pants.. So im like hold it baby we will make it.. I yank her tights and pull up down and hear a thunk.. And put her on the toilet.. Well she pooped right as i pulled the pull up down and it got on the restroom floor.

So now she is sitting on the toilet pushing, trying to do more.. And im looking at the poop on the floor thinking.. um.. wth do i do now lol.. eww...So i help aurora finish up, she didnt go, but she did try.. put her off the toilet and then i use the toilet seat protectors to pick the poop up off the floor and toilet paper to clean up the poop smudges.. I knew i couldnt leave it there.. it just wasnt right.. Washed our hands and left.. So thats my story..lol...

Tomrrow will prolly be an off day..we are going to the OC fair and im gonna try to take her to the restroom while we are out.. but like i said..she uses pull ups like diapers.

Lets skate!

2009-07-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend nikki and her boyfriend jason invited us out to a skating rink, for an adults only skate. John used to rollerblade all the time and ive been dying to see him do it.. So we said yes. Dad babysat.

We got there..got the skates on and i realized i hadnt forgotten how, but i was scared of falling. I didnt, but i was holding johns hand pretty hard lol. Nikkis boyfriend, jason, had never skated before..so he had a hard time of it, but he was determined to get it. I think he is going to practice more and more cause nikki was really good..

And i was happily surpised that john was great, and very sturdy on his feet..He helped me up and down and held my hand while i skated and put tons of pressure and weight on him lol.. My feet hurt and john got a blister... but it was fun. I think john wants to do it more often.

Afterwards we went to the yardhouse for dinner, which was yummy..and we had a few drinks.. Then home.

Fourth of July trip

2009-07-09T17:44:00.000-07:00

The road to where we stayed Auroras Fourth of july moment

Johnnys fourth of july moment

The kids together on the morning of the frouth, amazed that johnny took a paci..believe me...thats amazing! lol

Auroras moment on the way up..she loved the wind in her hair!

So we were back from texas for about two days, three nights. Luckily we were home for johns days off, so we got to spend some time with him before we headed off again. I wasnt really looking forward to another road trip. Thursday morning I woke up with a sore throat and runny nose. Called my mom and told her about it, she thought i was trying to weasle my way out of the trip (And i was) and she told me i was still going..

And yes she holds that power over me. Well we left, hit a little traffic, but ended up in Fresno at about elevenish...Spent the night at my aunts house and left the next morning. Really didnt have a whole lot of time to visit. We drove on up to the San fran area. Stopped at a babies r us along the way and picked up a few things. I was getting sicker and the kids were coming down with it too.. got some vapor rub for them and cold medicine, just in case..i had everything else i would need.. And actually they didnt get that bad.. so i didnt end up using the cold medicine or the vapor rub, so i returned the medicine yesterday at our local babies r us.

We stopped at a farm that sells all kinds of jams, jellies, fruit smoothies, pies..etc.. All stuff made there and with items grown there too. I was getting a little worn with all the traveling though, so i was just ready to reach our destation. We wound our way up into a really pretty wooded area. Reached our destination in the early afternoon, brought everything in. Set up the pack and plays..we were in a tiny room with a twin bed.. but it was the only place i could fit both the kids in the room with me.. and they needed to be in there with me. We chilled. Tried to go to bingo..but i explained to mom it would prolly not end well since it was past the kids bedtimes..Ended up having to go back and put the kids to bed before bingo was over. Then we hung out with papa and his wife. Then to bed.

The next day we went down to all the fourth of july festivities..that was fun, took aurora to the park, bid on silent acutions..etc.. had a blast..the kids were awak for like five hours and doing all kinds of stuff..and then i took them back up by myself and put them down for naps and they were out for like two hours where i got to read. They came back and mom and barbra went down to the river to float down the river..and i got the kids ready to meet papa down at the russian river bank.. well they were screaming, his screams were reverberating in my ears...and i was sick..it was difficult... and aurora fell part way down a flight of stairs..its a four story place, we were on the bottom third story...had to climb up to go in and out.. Not baby proofed, no baby gates.. i felt like i was walking on egg shells the entire time.

Left a day early because we wanted to split the trip up again. I did all the driving back. We went down to Albany..the bay area... to go out to lunch for two family members birthdays. We went to a fancy itallian restraunt, not a place for kids.. They did arlight, but it was taking forever and we ended up having to leave early so i could nurse johnny and they could nap. Drove back to my aunts house. Got to visit and had a blast.. played scrabble, aurora had a blast with my cousin emily..they are about four years apart in age..

Woke up the next day, visited some more and then left for home. Drove back home and thats it.. I have a ton of pics to get off my moms camera..mine died and though i had the charger i kept forgetting to charge it lol

Texas!!

2009-07-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

Grandpas moment: He liked the air museum and he was great cause mommy didnt feel so great, so he took care of the kiddos.

Mommys moment: Going crazy from boredom, but excited to be heading to Tx
Johnny's moment: Chillen at the childrens museum..he had a blast there

Auroras moment: At the hotel, being a cute ham!

So as most of you know we took a trip to Texas recently. At times it was a bit rough with the two kids, but worth it. Here is my little cliff notes on the trip.

We dropped some stuff off at johns work and left from there. We drove for awhile until johnny had enough of driving and ended up at a pretty neat military museum. A Patton museum. We had a blast going through that and getting out of the car lol. We saw some neat tanks. Got the kids two new outfits. Then we got back in the car and drove and drove and drove... We stopped at some Wendy's real late to get something to eat and to check on johnny who had been crying a bit. Little did we know, he had his head stuck under the britax headrest. We had made a last minute decision to move johnny into a big boy seat that still faces backwards and actually is meant for newborns and up.. Though he would be more comfortable, safer..etc.. my father had suggested it.. Oh and if i haven't said yet. The trip was my dad, the kids, and I...john had to work.

Well that scared the crap out of us..Dad got him out of the car and i walked him around and comforted him and massaged his neck. He was alright. We got driving again and ended up in Benson, AZ. We spent the night there in a nice hotel and got on the road again the next morning. Drove and drove, stopped at a little gift shop in New Mexico. Got the kids cowboy hats and moccasin's. Got back in and did more driving. OH and my dad had a horrible toothache the entire time, we had him see the dentist before we left, but she said she didnt see much and told him to make an appointment to see the orthopedic surgeon/specialist. Oh and we also tried johnny out in the other car seat for a day before we left and had no problems...little did we know..

So anyways, we didnt drive as much the second day. Ended up in a rainstorm in El Paso. Stayed at a really nice hotel there. Had some room service and just chilled. Slept and all that, left the next day and drove and drove and drove..finally ended up at our destination outside of Austin.

Got completely lost looking for our hotel.. Had to call and walk us through the way to get there.. little different than here..quite a few more one way streets.. But by the end of the stay we got the hang of it. Checked in..went to sleep, it was really late. Found out that they didnt have roll away cribs.. which sucked cause we could only fit one of our pack and plays in the car. So i had a hell of a time getting aurora to sleep with me every night.

Well the next day we meet up with my friend Teela and her two cute sons. Went to lunch and then looked at homes. Saw some really nice homes, not the perfect one yet, but thats okay cause john doesnt have a job out there yet. Dad was all about it at that point (now he is second guessing his feelings about moving cause of the heat. We will see what happens)

After that we explored the town a bit. The next day we went to the Inner space caverns with my friend and her sons again. That was fun, though a tad bit humid.. lol..and they told us to make sure the kiddos didnt touch anything..right... 3 two year olds (Almost...) we did our best and Id say they didnt touch hardly anything that i know of. We went back to the hotel after that and bathed aurora..she fell and got mud all over.

The next day we went to find a baptist church my dad wanted to see, then to the Austin children's museum. That was chaos, but fun. Dad pretty much stuck with johnny in the infant areas. And aurora and I were all over the place. She got a wooden choo choo set when we met and she loves trains now. We even bought her some more train stuff when we got back. I met another friend of T's and her cute daughter Addyson. All of us went out to lunch/dinner afterwards. Stayed there forever talking and letting the kids play on the playground. T's son, Jackson, finally warmed up to me!

We left the next morning. Aurora was sad to leave, she actually told me she didnt want to go home. Oh and to solve our little carseat problem, that was really a big problem. We bought a new infant car seat and stuffed the britax in the trunk. That was a feat...oh my.. that mustang has a tiny trunk.. and i used my tetris skills to make it all work lol.

We had a good drive on the way back, we stayed outside of El Paso.. We were forced to stop by a really bad rain/lighting storm. I mean lighting struck really close to us...i cant even count how many times we saw the lighting strike! It was amazing, cool, and scary! The kids pretty much slept through that. Stayed at an okay hotel, wouldnt be my first choice.. but we didnt have any other options. The next day we drove and drove and drove, stopped at a cool air/space museum that i wouldnt mind going back to and ended up home.. at like midnight. But i was determined! I missed my John Brown!

All in all we loved it.. it was hot, but i can deal! We will see if we actually move, we want to, but again its giving up our family, friends, and Disneyland! Cant forget dland..lol..and my dad is worried about the heat and im concerned john wont like the heat, plus he hasnt hear anything about his transfers... So things are still up in the air.

WOW....

2009-06-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

We made our hotel reservations. John applied for two more positions in his company..If he gets one the soonest her could transfer is July 3rd. He would have to go out there without us.. Ive got stuff to finish up here..but i doubt it would be that soon. I just hope he gets one of the positions.

Dad and I made our hotel reservations tonight... The kids, dad, and I are going out there at the end of the month. John cant go cause of work... but im so excited. Ill miss him and traveling that far with kids wont be fun..but im soooo excited for our trip! And possible our move.

John wants a dog when we move... Im not so sure..that one we will have to think on a bit. If we do get a dog we will be going through a refferal from the american kennel club and paying for pure bred.. taking no chances with my kiddos.. Im doing some research, john wants a st bernard, but i dont think it would be fair to a dog like that in that kind of heat.

Oh and i emailed the realtor again, hadnt heard from her in a week or so.. let her know our hotel info and asked if she had found anything.. not that we can buy right away.. but i did ask about getting prequalified while we are out there. We cant actually buy till we know for sure that john has a job out there, i think she knows that though cause i told her we were only considering relocating to tx and that we would like to see the area.. But i really want to move there, unless i get there an hate it on our trip lol, but we arnt going anywhere without john getting a transfer.

So ready to go

2009-06-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

It seems quick but i feel like im just ready to be done with california as my home. Im all for coming back to visit, but im so done living here. Im done worrying if we will ever own a home cause they are just too expensive for a family living on one income.. Im done worrying about what if someone breaks in and kills us or robs us...cause we live in an "okay" area..some might even call it good, but seriously an elderly guy just got shot here a year ago...killed in the night.. there are drug dealers at the other end of the street..it doesnt look like the ghetto cause of its facade..but it is.. Its better than a lot of places here, but its no where near my ideal for my kids. Im sick of worrying about the day they go to school...what will other kids teach my kids, what will the teachers want to teach my kids, will they get the attention they need when the classes are splitting at the seams with kids!..should i homeschool? etc..

Im ready to give my kids the life that i dreamed up for them.. and its not here in cali. Yes my mom will hate me for moving, yes i will miss her and the rest of the family and friends i have here. but its not forever..i will visit and they certainly can visit me..

I cant wait till the end of the month..i want to see what this place is like..what these possible new homes hold for me. I hope hope hope that i love them.. I hope they turn out to be all i want them to be...im trying not to build them up in my head. I also hope that john gets one of these positions he applied for. He has applied for two in our first choice city and will be applying for two more in our back ups tomorrow.... I hope something comes of those.. all those positions are within his current company.. i hope that we can make this work..

Pray for us. Im praying for God to tell me if this is right, is this where we should be?

Its set in motion

2009-06-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

Now lets see where we go....

My father and I have planned a trip to the area in tx we want to move for the end of the this month. John cant go cause he has to work. John also applied for a job in the area as well, a transfer within his own company. Right now its the only position open in that area, so we didnt want to take the chance of passing it up and not having another one come up.. We will see if he gets it, its a supervisor postion. I hope he does.. but then again i hold out my hope until i know for sure that im going to like this place.

My father suggested emailing a real estate agent in the area. Someone to take us around, show us the city and some homes. So i did this morning and she emailed back this afternoon saying she would love to work with us and show us the city. To give her info on what we are looking for, our price range, and what we like. So i did.. it was pretty specific..lol.. I hope she can find what we are looking for, i think she will. I hope to hear back from her tomorrow. Even if john does get the job i doubt we can move till the end of july at the earliest..though he may need to go out there before us.

We would still have to get the front two units of dads triplex rented..set up who is going to manage them for us..get them ready for the next tenants..anyways there would be a lot to do..but thats all a little down the line..

millions of things going through my head

2009-06-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

Okay.. so the past four years we have been discussing moving away from SoCal... for many reasons.. Well recently my father mentioned it as well, he feels as though nothing is holding him here now that grandma is gone.. he is disliking cali more and more...

So anyways...lots going on..we have a possible city lined up, a possible transfer in johns job..we will see, and we are discussing a mini vaca to visit the possible city : ) We might wait till end of july for the vaca..since we have one planned then already, but im hoping to do it sooner.

If we do move we will wait for john to get a new job or transfer, either find an apartment until we find the right home or go out and find a home.. either way...we will be buying a home..

Who knows if it will happen...its all so crazy, but somewhere inside me i feel like this is the right thing to do.

not very happy

2009-06-02T23:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty good day. Got up, made the bed, dressed and changed the kids, fed the kids, brushed their teeth.. etc.. Went to wal mart, watered my garden, did a little gardening with the two plants i just bought, made dinner, cleaned the living room, replaced the bathroom toilet seats, washed dishes, picked up the kids room....not in that order..but you get the idea.

Well tonight the kiddos go to bed and john is sitting at the computer frustrated.. it crashed..wouldnt come up...even in safe mode..worked on it forever! And finally came to the conclusion that windows needed to be reloaded...just freaking great.. so lets lose almost everything. Luckily we have a storage drive that stores all the important stuff, files, photos, videos..etc.. We lost a lot of programs.. most importantly my quicken..which im not too happy about. Oh well..such is life, we move on.. Im gonna take this as a positive...

We are cleaning out..all those favorites that i never used...are gone..i can now put ones that i really use, i can start quicken over afresh.... make us a new budget. Im gonna try to keep positive and we didnt lose the pics.. which just keeps me happy.. if we had lost the pics i would have been very upset.

Today

2009-06-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

Today we got up around nine, watered my plants. Got the kiddos ready and headed off for disneyland! We were there about three hours. Went on small world, went through minnie and mickeys house and took pics with minnie and mickey... And that was about it...

Came home, fed the kids, put them down for naps and had dad watch them while i went to clean my moms house. She pays me money to clean it cause she is too busy to do it herself. I take the money and put it in a savings..we just started this a few months back, she asked me out of the blue and i said sure why not..

Met my father at my aunts house, fed johnny.. came home. Dropped my car off and went with my father to get dinner and see if the bank was still open so he could do some banking he needed to do.. wasnt open..came home. We ate dinner. Johnny went to bed, aurora played, john played video games and i worked on my garden. Then i washed dishes and put them away. We got dressed...aurora was put to bed.. and we went to the gym, dad stayed here and held down the fort.

We did our workout, came home and here i am..lol

My garden is going good, i cant wait to see if the seeds i planted start to sprout. Some are plants and some seeds... But so far i have a tomato plant, squash, corn, green beans, peas, carrots... And some herbs.. cilantro..oregona, mint, and sage.... more to come.. im also going to start composting, but i have some things i need to move out of my garden first.

Six months!

2009-05-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

Thats right, my baby boy turned six months old yesterday! Today we took him to the pedi for his check up. He was 17 pounds 10 ounces, 50Th percentile, 26.75inches, 60th percentile, not sure what his head circ was, but he was in the 75th percentile for that.

She said he is doing great developmentally, is very well proportioned body wise, that he should continue trying new solids..duh..lol, to start baby proofing...yeah thats already all done about 20 months ago, Anyways..alls good...Oh and she said we could start a sippy of water if we wanted..and we did and he did great... I am still nursing as well.

This afternoon i took out my baby food making supplies that i used with aurora, but i came to the conclusion that i no longer like my blender, borrowed my moms magic bullet, love it..gonna buy one. But anyways i made three batches of food today, green beans, squash, and peaches...froze all of it but one serving of green beans... My dad came around and fed him the green beans and he loved em! They were just straight steamed green beans, added a bit of water and blended them to a good consistency..

I also think im going to make my own little garden on the patio and grown some of my own veggies... we will see what happens, my grandma back east is great at it and so im gonna get some advice.

Oh and i went to walmart today and spent too much moula on clothes for the kiddos lol.

yay me lol

2009-05-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Wow im actually making time to blog two days in a row!

I went to the library today, babies r us, my moms to work out on her treadmail..just wasnt up for the gym, my aunt susans, and i thin thats it.. did about three loads of laundry, tomorrow is actually my laundry day... so i have a few more loads to do.

We gave johnny rice cereal again today.. went great..he loved it.. ive got pics of him in his new high chair... He loved it, fed him a bit less, nursed him afterwards and he kept it down. Last night he slept an extra three hours longer.. so like 10+hours.

They grow up so fast!

2009-05-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

Johnny will be six months old this week! Man has time flown by.. Today we let him have his first bite of solid food..rice cereal to be exact. He ate it, but at first didnt seem a fan, but after a few bites he was starting to really like it. Then i nursed him, guess it was a bit much for his little tummy cause he spit a bunch up a few minutes later. Next time i will be doing less rice cereal, though we didnt give him much...

Just dont have time.

2009-05-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

It just seems like i have no time to blog lately..we have been so busy.

Aurora has started mommy and me ballet. She is pretty shy but once we are in class for about five minutes she starts warming up... We have also been doing mommy and me swim class, which she loves. She just loves water.

Johnny has been doing great, has two teeth now..tries to army crawl, sits up with assitance, reaches for anything and everything, rolls both ways, etc.. We have been breastfeeding for almost six months...no solids yet..we are starting them this week, rice cereal!

We got disneyland passes and have gone like four times already, aurora loves it. She has met minnie, mickey, pluto, tink, another fairy, goofy, cinderellas fairy god mother, belle, ariel, jasmine.... thats all i can think of right now.

John and i both had our birthdays, im now 23..whoo hoo.lol.. and john is 29..

We have been going to the gym and training. Im currently so sore from my training on friday.

Sat we went to auroras ballet class and then the beach. Both kids did great and loved it. Today we went to my moms and went swimming then to the gym for training.

Tomorrow is another busy day.. off to the gym, then mommy and me swim, then my moms to clean, then home to do some more cleaning.

2009-04-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

Today was a laid back day. Just me and the kids for most of, which isn't the norm since we hang with my dad a lot. I decidec that today would be laundry day, so I did all the laundry in hour house. Picked up a bit, made the bed, etc.

I did school time with aurora and after lunch I took them both out for bubble fun! Played with the new camera. My father pulled up while we were outside and on and off spent the rest of the day with us.
I read a bit, finished Anne of avonles yesterday and began a conveinent marriage. So far so good. Visited my aunt susan. Came home, put the kids to bed and went to the gym with john. Dad watched the sleeping kiddos for us.

I was a little dissapointed with my gym trip. All john wanted to do was cardio. So ill have to work my legs at home (I'm on my way home from the gym as I write this). Shouldn't be too difficult to do from home,most of it doesn't require machines.

Dont even know where to begin

2009-04-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I havent been on in forver, ive been updating my twiter/facebook via texts, but thats it. Now i set up my phone to update blogger via texts, so hopefully ill be able to keep everyone updated..not that anyone actually reads these..lol

Lets just go over idividual events and kids..lol.

Easter-

Easter was GREAT! Except for the fact that john had to work, but in the morning they went through their baskets, then he went to work. The kids and I went to my aunts with my dad, we visted my grandfather and grandmothers grave, went to the store, had a nice easter lunch at my aunts. My aunt had a basket for me and aurora, johnny really is too little for one. So then we went home. Nikki came over and gave aurora and johnny a HUGE easter basket full of goodies. Then we all went outside to write on the sidewalk with the sidwalk chalk that aurora got in one of her baskets. She had a blast. After that we went back inside, Aurora napped, john came home and my mom came over. She had baskets for each of them. My dad had given them a few things and cards earlier. We did an easter egg hunt out front, which i have video of..ill upload it later. She did really well and knew exactly what to do, but once she figured out there was candy in them..lol..she wanted to stop and eat it.. We did bubbles that someone had given her.. and at the end of the day i picked up all of the mess that was made. They made out big time!

Aurora-
Aurora has been doing great. She is potty training still, and goes on the potty pretty often, but we need to work on her telling us when she needs to go because she doesnt always do it. But lately we have been back to a pretty tight routine and she seems to really thrive on it, naps better. She is in love with the show Handy Manny and always wants to watch it! She is talking so much lately. I cant even believe it. I also cant believe how soon her bday is coming up, ive already started some planning for it..lol. Today she went to the gym with me for the first time. I was afraid to put her in the gym daycare because she hasnt ever really been away from me and with strangers. But i had talked to someone who worked there and after speaking with them i thought id try it. It helps that only females work there and aurora is very uncertain of men. We showed up at the gym and my trainer said hi but he scared aurora..lol. Took her to the daycare, signed her in. She ran in and then back out of the play area then back in and she was gone and playing when i left. She stayed for 43mintues! So proud. I was almost done when i got called to the daycare room. I show up and she is crying, when she sees me she starts sobbing. Runs over to me and i pick her up and she stops sobbing...just quietly crys.. I show them my id.. The lady told me aurora did great until another boy started crying and she freaked out and started crying too. My father babysat johnny. He doesnt like watching them both..feels like its too much for him.

Johnny-
Rolling pretty much both ways.. better tummy to back than back to front, but he is a rollie pollie. He has great head control, tries to sit up from a semi lying position. Loves his jumper. Big giggler and smiler. Teething... i can see where the bottom tooth is coming in. He is five months old today! And im proud to say that we are still just breastfeeding! We havent had bottles in forever.. he might get one,once a month..if that.. and its only because im not there to feed him. Im holding out until six months to give him solids. He has really gotten over his crankiness and as long as he is fed and changed then he is good. We are still cloth diapering him.

John and I
Are great! We are both going to the gym, often seperately but we do go together occasionally. We are both losing weight. I can really see it in john. He lost ten pounds in six days! They will be doing measurements at his training session tonight. I bet he lost a lot of inches.

Ive been doing great. I lost five pounds and gained a lot of lean muscle... Ive lost quite a few inches and am proud to say that i fit into my wedding dress. Im also fairly certain that im smaller now than i was at my wedding! Cant wait to lose even more! Ive been trying to go to the gym everyday.

I also have been feeling so great lately. This morning some electricians came by to give quotes on putting up new lights. Cant wait till that is done. Im also trying to clean the house top to bottom..taking it room by room, day by day.

I think that keeping myself busy has kept my mind of grandma.. i miss her. Though i inherited her car, so its hard not to think about her when i get in it. I love having a car, but id rather have grandma..

Ive been doing a lot of reading, read all the twilight books, read jane eyre, anne of green gables, im currently on anne of avonlea. I took the kids to the library the other day.. cant wait for aurora to be old enough to read. : )

Well thats all for now i guess.

experiences

2009-04-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today we went to the Fullerton Arboretum..it was the kiddos second time there, but this time Aurora was more free to run and touch and smell things. We had a blast. John was working, but we went with Aunt Susan and dad. We spent a lot of time there.. And i went through a tour of the old heritage house.. Though i felt odd cause i was the only one taking the tour who wasnt a college student...Though because of my clothes and age they assumed i was.lol.

Anyways..took tons of pics.

On another front, Ive been trying to find a rose, called the black baccara, to plant, but finding none at local nurseries and online options are sparse..we will see.

been mia

2009-04-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Been reading the twilight saga... finished it yesterday.. LOVED IT!

Potty training is going well and ive got a gym membership again.. And john got one too and we paid for training sessions.. I also lost 5.6 pounds last week.. So i have offically lost 5% of my weight watchers weight.. And i was thinking about this today.. from the highest weight ive been at.. nine months preggo with johnny..till now.. Ive lost like thirty pounds!

Today

2009-03-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

Well im trying to keep my regular blogs and her potty training blogs seperate.. Today obviously we stayed home for most of the day and did potty training and such. Though my cousin did come over with her nephew and they played for awhile...had a blast. My father picked up my easter photo cards for me, so that i could stay home and be with aurora during our potty training.. Trying to stay home as much as possible, which is so hard for me..lol. Cleaned a bit when i had a chance, Went with my mom to get her car washed and to wal mart to buy some pull ups for auroras outings and a spray bottle for my diaper wipe mix..since we are cloth diapering we might as well be cloth wiping.. lol.. John came home, made dinner, john played with aurora and the baby napped and here we are. I think i might strip my diapers tonight.. i think they are giving the baby a rub rash..not very bad and if i put a doubler on top of the prefold then it goes right away.

Potty training day 3

2009-03-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

So today Aurora went pee in the potty/potty chair twice..And one number two in the potty. The day isnt over yet, but who knows if ill have time to update later. She had numerous accidents today..at least five.. I started doing a version of the 3day potty training method today. I just cant stay home for three days straight though.. Too many errands to run. But we only went out for about an hour to two hours today and her diaper stayed dry the entire time! I bought her some pull ups for our times when we are out and about, because the men folk around here refuse to let her into their cars with just panties on....Which at this point is understandable, but she doesnt want to wear the diapers when i give her the option, so i hate to force her to.

The accidents seemed to have taught her something though. The 3 day method basically consists of putting them straight into underwear and then being with them all day long..not letting them out of your sight, not going on the computer, no watching tv, etc. Well we did that today and she "tinkled" as we call it.. in her panties once..didnt make it to the potty seat in time.. second time we made it..Third time she grabbed her crotch, squeeled and pointed to her potty but she had already gone by the time she was on the potty..and the fourth time she pointed to the potty and squeeled and made it in time to go number 2.. So she is learning to tell us.. I had to change her undies a lot today, but i think she is getting the hang of things! And luckily all her accidents were pee.

Potty training day 2

2009-03-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

Again we only got a chance to try it out in the morning, though i would have let her in the afternoon, but my father was against it. She was put in her panties when she woke up and kept them dry till eleven when we left.. she didnt want to put a diaper on but my father insisted. She did number two in the toilet earlier today..got her sticker and star as well. I might put her in them again when we she gets up from her nap. We just got home. Had to run some errands and then we went for a 2 hour walk with our friend deja and logan. Got home and did her school time, now she is down for a nap..we will see if she actually falls asleep though.

Day 1 of potty training

2009-03-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

So i thought id blog about our experiences with potty training..all the ups and downs and such.

Today we got Aurora up and put her straight into training panties (the cloth kind).. I put some plastic on the couch and some towels and let her sit and watch her morning shows, she ate breakfast and came back to sit next to me while i fed and changed her lil brother. She got fidgety at some point and asked if she wanted to sit on her potty..She did and after a few minutes went pee! We cleaning it out, did all that, gaver her a sticker for herself and she put a sticker on her chart! She even got up when she was done and tried to pull her panties up herself.. too cute.. Went on with our day. She ate lunch at some point and afterward asked if she wanted to sit on her potty..she did again and went again! Did the same sticker system..which she really seems to love. She went four hours in her undies without an accident..Though we were off to grocery shopping so i put her back in a diaper. I feel its too early to expect her to stay dry while we are running around town.

We will see how tomorrow goes.

Potty training..

2009-03-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

Thats right.. tomorrow we are going to officially start potty training.. I hope it goes well. She has been using the potty on occasion, but it hasnt been a regular thing. Today we got her another potty book, a potty chart, stickers, a stool to get on and off the potty cause she prefers it to her potty chair. So tomorrow we start it.. I wonder how its gonna go... I feel like she is ready. The other day she brought me a diaper and she had just peed. She occasionally grabs at her crotch and points to the potty, but this is very sporadic, she knows where the potty is and what we use it for, she likes sitting on it.. I dunno..we will see how it goes, no pressure.

Amazed

2009-03-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

Showing her stuff off to grandpa

Showing those pearly whites

Afterwards

Excited to go to the dentist

Well today the kiddos had their appointments and im just amazed at how they went..

First we got them up, dressed them..we dressed Aurora up special...to help set it up in her mind that we were doing something special today. We went to the pediatric dentist. We make our way inside and the waiting room is very very nice.. they had a little cubby area with kids toys and books and a tv playing the lion king and two smaller tvs with xbox and PlayStation hooked up. They had it all decorated for st. pattys day...which is passed, but it was cute anyways.

The only downfall was the kid that was screaming bloody murder while we were there. I tried to keep Aurora distracted with other noisy things to keep her from paying too much attention to the screaming.. and it worked well. The dental assistant came up and took our paperwork. She had emailed it to me days ago so i had it all ready for her. Then She said it would be a second and a few minutes later they took us right back. The other child was crying in her moms arms as we walked past and she commented on how cute Aurora looked. I hoped that the crying child wouldnt upset aurora but it didnt seem to, she just smiled and kept walking.

We sat there and the dental assistant showed us the best way to brush on a monkey they had with a giant tooth brush and it had a set of teeth in its mouth. Then we went over her daily routine and habits. The dentist came in and said we were doing great, she had nothing to complain about, went over some more stuff in detail with us.. Positions to brush her teeth in..what kind of toothpaste to use, when to use it, how we should floss...etc..

Then came the part i was dreading... Actually seeing the teeth. They had aurora face me, and lay down with her head on the dentists lap. I held her arms while she checked her teeth and aurora seemed to make some protests, but no crying, no screaming..she did great! I was beyond amazed.

They were done, they gave her a balloon that had a little plastic pencil type bag on the bottom, with a tooth brush, tooth paste, and floss. They also gave her a token and took her to another room to pick a prize. She picked a little silver bead necklace and they gave her a certificate that said she had no cavities and it had a free kids meal at claim jumper.. The dentist told her how great she had been and such a good girl. Aurora put her stuff down and clapped for herself..lol.. And then we made her next appointment and left.

The pedi appointment for johnny didnt go as smoothly to start. We got there and they said our appointment had been at ten..and i thought it was at eleven..so we were 23 minutes late.. they took us anyways. We thought we were going to have a long wait, but nope..maybe five or ten minutes. We went in. Johnny was in his wrap but i had to take him out to undress him and all that, but he was in a happy smiley mood. He was such a cute lil flirt! :) His stats are as follows

weight 16 pounds 12 ounces

height 26inches

He is somewhere in the eightieth percentile for everything, she said he is very proportional. We went over developmental stuff... He rolls, he is trying to pull himself up to a semi sitting position, he grabs toys, he tracks, he smiles, he coos, he giggles..etc.. He was happy for her. She said it was good that we were still breastfeeding and we should continue. She said i could start rice cereal if i wanted or wait till he was five or six months. I said i wanted to wait till six months, she said that fine, but if he starts acting hungrier or wants to eat when we are eating dinner... smacking lips and all that, then its okay to feed it to him. I am really going to try and wait till six months.

She mentioned how cute auroras dress was and how cute johnnys diaper cover was. Though when she took it off i had to take the snappi off of it and she mentioned how easy it was. She asked how i liked my moby wrap and i said we loved it. Then we discussed moving Aurora over to her as her pedi..because aurora is afraid of men and was very comfortable with johnnys pedi..and She told us how to go about that. So ive got to do that.

Then the nurse came in and gave him his vax's..very slowly mind you..ugh...but i scooped him up after and cuddled him. He was happy and smiling by the time we got home.

And then today i got some good news.. My aunt is executor of my grandmas estate and they are giving me my grandmas old car.. yay.. a way to get around. Its not the nicest thing in the world but its a car! I actually offered to buy it from grandma when she was still alive, but she always hoped she would be able to drive again.

And we got home and my new happy heinys cloth diaper in cow print came! So excited. Its the cutest thing ever!

We're Back!

2009-03-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

Well we drove up to Fresno to visit with my grandmother who was out here visiting from South Carolina. It went alright.. the beginning was a bit shaky but the end was great. My mom decided to carpool so we all went in her car. She sat in between the kids, I drove because john was unable to. He falls asleep easily on long distance drives at night plus he cant fit in the seat with the baby behind him..he is just too tall. The drive up went fine.

Aurora stayed awake for most of the drive...like an hour and a half past her normal bedtime. She finally fell asleep maybe 30 minutes to an hour before we arrived. So when we got there she was still sleepy and she had no clue where she was or who all the people were. So she flipped out. Just hiding in my arms while i held her and she screamed. We whisked her away into our room and got ready for bed. She and baby brother were both in their pjs already. I dressed them in them ahead of time.

We brushed her teeth. Read her a story and john began to lay her in the pack and play and it just wasnt going to happen. He didnt even lay her down and she flipped out. We took pity on her cause she was scared and let her sleep in the bed with me. John slept on the floor. The only problem is she isnt used to sleeping with someone, plus she was afraid so she would wake up every few minutes and touch my face and try to lay on me. Eventually the baby woke up and wanted to eat. John put aurora down in the pack and play. She didnt like that, but once she saw that he was going to sleep next to her on the floor she was okay. Johnny slept in the bed with me.

The next day we stuck around the house for most of the day. It was nice cause they gave us the master bedroom so we had our own bathroom. So we didnt have to wait for anyone to get the kiddos ready. The day started off rocky. I was watching the baby on and off most of the morning cause john was crabby from lack of sleep and his back hurt from sleeping on the floor. Anyways. He was chilling in the living room with my cousin kyle. Well my cousin Emily, who is only four. Kept letting Aurora out of the house without supervision and I had no clue.. There are three entrances in and out of the house. I was sitting at the one they use the most, but they kept going through the slider. Well Im sitting in the kitchen doing something, i cant even remember what.. and i hear screaming.. my child screaming.. and i was gone like a bat out of hell. running as fast as i could praying that my baby was okay. I fly past john still on his butt in the living room. Throw the slider open and rush to my great aunt carrying my screaming daughter. Telling me she fell off the ladder to the play house. I scoop her up in my arms. Feel her arms and legs for breaks.. Hug and rock her. My cousin Brandon comes out and says "Christine here" and i hand him aurora. He pulls up her back shirt where i couldnt see and there is a two inch by two inch scrape.. I whisk her off to the bedroom. Yank my first aid kit out of my diaper bag and fix my baby girl up. Poor thing. It looked so bad then, not so bad now. I felt so guilty that i hadnt been there to keep it from happening and that i had no clue she was outside.

Needless to say John and I followed her everywhere the rest of the weekend. If she was out of sight for a second we flew to find her. Which was prolly a good idea since thats how we caught the face that my little cousin was letting aurora outside. I saw aurora stand by the door, point out, my cousin open it up and start to let her go out before I told Aurora no.

Later in the afternoon we went to the mall with my cousin, his new baby girl and his ex. We had a blast just hanging out. His daughter is so adorable. She has the most beautiful lashes! It was the first time i was able to see her in person. We came home, they put pics on the little girls and took pics of them together. We got the kiddos fed, bathed, and put to bed like normal. Then played some cards with my grams and great aunt.

Later on the boys were watching pirates of the Caribbean and my grams was folding laundry. She calls me in and says to me"Christine i am so proud of you. Aurora is such a great little girl, she is so well behaved and that doesnt just happen. You are doing a good job" I was shocked but so grateful to have such validation as a parent, i only hope i can continue to live up to such praise. Aurora isnt perfect, but she is well behaved and well disciplined. My cousin mentioned how he loved that i discipline so well and consistent.

Later on we went to bed..slept forever.. John on the floor again. I missed him. Woke up, ate, got the kiddos ready and headed off for home. We had planned on visiting the zoo up there, but the weather wasnt permitting, So we changed our plans. We visited the LA zoo once we got closer to home. We had a freaking blast! Drove on home and the kiddos were beat. We fed them and put them down for a nap. Our washing machine is on the fritz..its an apartment complex one and someone used soap that they werent supposed to in the front loader and now it doesnt work. So I had to drive over to my aunts to clean my cloth diapers. I dont have enough disposables to go without them and honestly i dont want to use disposables.

Anyways Ive got tons of pics to upload, but for some reason the computer isnt acting right..so those will be up as soon as possible.

First Dental Visit

2009-03-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

Well Auroras doctor recommended she see the dentist at 12 months but ive been wondering whether i should just take her to the regular dentist we see and whom i have known for my entire life.. Or a pediatric dentist that will specialize in the care of a youngsters teeth and dealing with a youngsters fears. Well the regular dentist really saw no need to see her so young.. I looked online for some pediatric dentists locally, but never really came up with one.

Well at Auroras 18 month check up I brought up my concerns to the doc and he recommended the pediatric dentist..and even a specific office.. I checked into them and they seemed great. So i made the appointment. They sent me a bunch of paperwork to read and fill out before her appointment, which will be March 25th. Took our dental insurance info and gave me an idea of whats going to happen. This dentist is a little further than i had looked prior, but right next to her pedis office.

They said the first appointment will usually take 45mins to an hour. They will go over any bad habits she has (ie thumb sucking, bottle taking, paci usage, etc... None of which she does...), what she eats and when, who brushes her teeth (john and i do.. she doesnt do it well enough herself yet), then they will go over what she should and shouldnt eat, proper dental hygiene. They will then check her teeth, do anything if necessary, and then give her a toy and balloon or something..

They said they want the experience to be as enjoyable as possible. They have a child geared waiting room, every dental room has a flat screen tv that plays children's movies. They have a male and female dentist. I informed them that aurora is more afraid of men and she has her appointment with the female dentist.

Im excited because it seems like a great place and i feel like i made a good choice for my child. However im worried about how its going to go, he 18 month checkup was miserable, she was sooo frightened to let them touch her. I think I will be switching her primary doc. Currently she sees a male who I like, but like i said, aurora doesnt take too well to men and she doesnt see the doc very often. Johnny has a female pedi and we really like her, so i think i will be changing her primary pedi to johnnys pedi.

Who I've Become

2009-03-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was St. Pattys day. So happy belated St. Pattys day. :) Got the kiddos up, john stayed late before going to work. Gave them their St. Pattys day buckets of goodies..not much, gave John his tie... Fed Aurora breakfast, she got to drink milk out of her plastic green mug. John left. My father came over and i made us all lunch, made plans to go to the park with my aunts and my cousins son.

Met at my aunt susans, waited for aunt nancy and my cousins son, cody, to show up. We drove to the park. Got the kiddos out.. Fed the ducks. Laid a blanket out and had a picnic then walked the kids over to the playground so they could play. Johnny slept in auroras stroller (my father doesnt allow me to put my double stroller in his car) while i ran around with aurora and dad sat next to johnny sleeping. They had a blast.

Brought Aurora home, put her down for a nap. Fed johnny, put him down for a nap. Then i cleaned both bathrooms.. As i was doing it i kept thinking. Man i love who i am and what i am.

I love being a Mom. Especially a Stay at home mom, thats the only way i would have it. I know that im raising my kids. I cant imagine not being with them all the time. Sure its hectic, but heck i love it. I love that i have such a wonderful husband who works so hard to allow me to stay home and i love the little family we are. We knew when we got married that we wanted kids and when we had kids that i would stay home with them. So they didnt have to go to a stranger or daycare... At home they have mommy, they have one on one care. I just love my life.

Aurora got up, ran around with grandpa for a bit..She loves hanging out with grandpa. Came home and did "School time" with mommy. We only do it during the weekdays. Its amazing how fast she learns!

John came home from work and i cooked dinner and folded some laundry. We had corned beef, potatoes and cabbage of course. Aurora seemed to like the corned beef. And then it was the nightly routine as always.. Bedtime baths, stories, prayers, kisses and bed. Both kiddos down and mommy and daddy were able to have some time to watch tv together. I love our adult time.

Well today I went on a walk with my friend Deja and her cute lil son Logan. I took john to work so i could have the car and the double stroller. We went on an hour walk again.. Our third one so far i think. I was excited to do it. I feel so much better when i excersize. I lost 7.6 pounds last week alone! Im eating well, my kiddos are eating well. Breastfeeding is going wonderfully. Im cloth diapering pretty much all the time. Aurora doesnt have enough covers to do it all the time for her.

Came home, picked up dad, had him check the air in the tires..the light was coming on. Found out that eventually i will need new front tires...oh well. Then came home and made my baby girl and me some lunch. Then fed johnny, put them both down for naps again. This time aurora wasnt having it, so after awhile of letting her cry. I let her go out and play with grandpa while i cleaned the kitchen. She wanted to help, but i dont like having her around the chemicals. So now the kitchen is clean, the baby is starting to wake up.. and aurora should be coming home soon.... I dont like him to take her for too long.. I miss her too much... But i cant really deprive her from seeing one of her favortive people, grandpa.

Well anyways off i go.. wanted to let people know i was still alive..lol.

Time after time

2009-03-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Well im taking a break from folding the mountain of laundry that i washed recently. Though i still have two bathrooms to clean and a kitchen, but the kitchen will wait for another day..thats going to take all day, because i need to go through a lot of stuff in the dining room..

Last night I had a dream that grandma had survived the pneumonia... I woke up thinking maybe she still was alive, but in a few seconds i realized it had been a dream. That was hard.

Im happy to say that johnny was completely cloth diapered all night and they work wayy better than the sposies that he often leaks through at night. I also saved my pocket dipe i have for him, for the night which made it simple and easy.

Aurora is talking more and more everyday.. I just cant believe it. Every weekday we do "school time"..I try to shoot for five oclock M-F.. We do colors, ABC book, body parts, baby animals, music..etc.. We have been doing it for a a week now. Well today we were watching baby mozart..and aurora shouts out blue.. and i look up and the lady is moving the blue puzzle piece. My little girl is growing up.

Johnny giggles, coo's and all that. Rolling, jumping in his jumperoo.... holding his head up really well..all that jazz...

18 month check up

2009-03-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

Aurora had her 18month check up yesterday.

Stats
Weight 27pounds
Height 32 inches and some change..lol.. Id have to go get the paperwork

She was scared of the scale and cried while on it and it was the stand up ones! She was scared of the doctor. Didnt want the gown put on..didnt want him touching her... The nurse did her head measurments, her temp..basically everything he could do in my arms. She didnt used to be like this but oh well. She warmed upto the male nurse..which suprised me, but her doc..nope.. She has seen him since a baby but oh well.. its been awhile. She got a book, then her vax, and then a sticker and then outta there.

Ive got more to say, but no real time to write.. oh well. Just thought id update everyone. : )

Depressed

2009-03-06T15:58:00.000-08:00

I think im going to be depressed for awhile. I miss my grandma so much and the longer time passes the more i really miss her... I cant just pick up the phone and talk to her.. like we used to.. Talk about nothing.. go visit her.. I just wish she had never broken her hip. I wish she were still alive today. I wish this didnt hurt so bad. I thought nothing would hurt as bad as the loss of my grandfather because we were so close, but now they are both gone. When she was alive it was like a part of him was still here..but now they are both gone and i cant help but be so upset. I just want them back so that i can wrap my arms around them and never let go.

Now im crying again. I need this pain to go away.

Its so final

2009-03-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

So today was the funeral. Well we didnt have anyone to watch the kiddos...everyone we knew was going and we really arnt keen on leaving our kids with non family members, especially since johnny is a screamer on occasions... And i am breastfeeding and though i dont mind him having a bottle of formula once in a blue moon.. i prefer him not to.

Well we get ready to go. I didnt have anything black for the kids to wear and while i thought about going out to buy them something, i decided against it. So Aurora wore a black, pink, and white dress...Johnny wore a blue onsie with matching overalls..though he was in my black moby wrap the entire time. We get there..its the viewing, my mother stays outside with aurora because i was adamant she NOT see grandma in the coffin, She knows who grandma is and loves her very much and she just wouldnt understand. So John and i and johnny, who was sleeping in the wrap. Went in. Grandma didnt look like herself. Wasnt wearing her glasses, was wearing very heavy make up.. but then i gues you would have to, she was very bruised on her hands from all the iv's.. and even some bruising from when they did the ventilator.

Well then we went back out. John got his stuff for being a pall bearer.. gloves and a carnation. Then the casket was closed and we went in. Johnny, John, and I sat up front with my father. While aurora sat in the back with my mom. That way she really didnt see too much of what was going on as well as me crying, which i knew would upset her. My mother kept her occupied the entire time and she did great. Johnny slept the entire time. They did the service, my cousin did. and it was very good. Then they played some music and then they did a video my cousin had put together.

Once she makes me a copy i will share it. But man thats when i lost it.. I was bawling, even thinkign about it makes me want to cry. Just pictures and video of my grandma..My dad lost it when he saw a pic of his mom and dad and him as a boy..and up until this point dad hadnt cried yet. It was very hard for me to see my strong father that way and made me cry even harder. So then a pic flashed of grandma holding my newborn baby aurora.. and omg.. I just broke out in sobbs... i couldnt take it..SHES GONE...Aurora will never see her again, never actually remember her without our help.

Then that ended and everyone was able to go up to the closed coffin and say their final respects.. And i just laid my hand on it and cried, sobbed... I want her BACK! We went to the grave site and i had to breastfeed johnny, but by now im pretty descrete about it. Kissed a rose and laid it on her coffin.. and said my final goodbye.. Its so real, so final.

Went to grandmas and visited with all the family, took the mind off of the pain. Well thats all i can say for now.. Johnny needs his bath..its bedtime.

Depressed

2009-03-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

Outwardly i act fine.. I mean im not crying as much anymore. When people ask how i am, i say alright or fine.. i dont start crying like i did.. But honeslty i feel depressed all the time. I want to hide in a hole and pass all the mouring and such by. I dont feel like cooking, cleaning, etc.. Honestly i dont feel like doing much of anything. I feel tired and sad..

I miss my grandma. I wish i had pics of the two of us on my computer, but i dont. : (

March 1, 2009

2009-03-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

Holding johnny

Feeding aurora as a baby

Grandma and aunt susan

My grandma

Ive been out of it lately..and i havent updated blogger at all.

Last night, my grandma passed away. The pneumonia made her too weak. As some of you may have read in earlier blogs, grandma broke her hip and then was in a convalescent hospital. Then she came home for one day, the only place she wanted to be.. Her bp was very low, she had signs of possible pneumonia, and her legs had been swollen for quite some time. My aunt took her in the next day and grandma was readmitted into the hospital, with the signs of a possible heart attack and pneumonia.

The heart attack was confirmed by blood tests and the pneumonia was as well. They began to treat it, but as time went by it worsened. Grandma could no longer breathe on her own and they ventilated her. She was on a ventilator for a few days.. Once taken off of it she said it had been torture. Though she could barely talk at this point. She worsened as she couldnt sustain healthy breathing. The doctors informed us that if she were to be put on the ventilator again it would most likely be for the duration of her life. And they emphasized how grandma already had terminal cancer. My aunt asked grandma if she wanted to have the tubes put back in, because that was the only way should could survive. I was there and we all cried when she shook her head no... She didnt want that, and personally i can understand why, she looked so miserable on it..She couldnt talk, she cant see because of her cataracts, the cancer had taken away her ability to eat, and breaking her hip took away the ability to walk. Its like my aunt said..it was a slow chisseling away of all the things grandma loved. All the things we take for granted.

We all tried to visit her multiple times of the day. Though with two kids its been a struggle.. sadly aurora and johnny were not allowed to visit her..Nor do i want aurora to remember her great grandmother that way. I stayed at the hospital the night she passed. I was there for roughly six hours with two of my cousins and my aunt. We took turns periodically in the waiting room and with grandma. By this point grandma had been laboring to breath for almost a day and a half now. She didnt seem aware of anyone's presence and they were keeping her comfortable.

At one am i made the decision to go home. My breasts were beginning to hurt and i had missed two feedings with the baby. Grandmas vitals had actually gotten a bit better and i lived with the delusion that maybe she could beat this. This morning i called my aunt to check on grandmas condition. She passed away at around 3am. I am so thankful that she was there to hold grandmas hand, i didnt want her to die alone.

My grandma has always been a large part of my life. She took care of me as a child while my father worked. She changed my diapers as a baby, potty trained me, took me to and from school. Took me to the doctors.. She was there for a few of my prenatal appointments when i was pregnant with Aurora. She was always telling me how beautiful my children are.. and she loved them so much. It hurts to know that Aurora wont actually remember anything, but I wont let her memory of her die with her. Aurora will know the wonderful woman that my grandma was. At times she may have seemed hard headed or stubborn, but so am i and i wouldnt have had her any other way.

At least now she is no longer struggling to breathe and she has gone to heaven. To be with the love of her life and husband for over 50 years... and GOD..

Now the tears have begun to fall... I cant believe she is gone, no more kissing her cheek, no more talking about random things to her, no stories, no.. i wont think this way.. its better not to.. Instead i will share pictures of her with you. She was a month shy of her 88th birthday.

Valentines Day

2009-02-16T10:14:00.000-08:00

Well we had a great vday.. Woke up... aurora got to go through their vday bucket. She got an outfit for vday, heart peeps, a cliffords vday book, and a doll from her grandpa..plus a card. Johnny got a vday outfit, part of which was from his grandpa, and a book, and a card. John and I exchanged cards.. and also the kiddos had cards for mommy and daddy...mine was signed by pumpkin.. it was just a scribble but sooo cute! We got them dressed in their special outfits, got us dressed and headed off to visit family and go shopping.

After shopping around online and in stores.. we finally found a really great price on a 52 inch sony bravia flatscreen lcd tv... so we bought it..and they delivered it the morning of the next day..and omg..it seems huge to me.. i mean our old tv was like 42 inches or so..and this one just seems sooo bigger.. We are gonna hang it on the wall, with help from our buddies Deja and her hubby Mike.

We visited my grandpa in the convalesant hospital..we actually did that before the tv..but i forgot about it until now. The kids were real ancy so we didnt stay long..well aurora was ancy. So we left.

Took aurora to the park after we bought the tv... and i bf the baby in the car while john and aurora played in the park. Then we left. We drove around for awhile because the kids had fallen alseep. Then we visited my aunt and gave aurora some of the cookies we had baked together the night before.

Then we came home. Dad watched the kiddos while we went out to dinner with Deja and Mike..which was a LOT of fun! I cant wait to do that again!!!

Valentines pics

2009-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Today we are getting some pics taken of the kiddos.. for valentines and also because aurora has a special dress she needs to take pics in..it was made by her late great grandma.. who passed many years ago...and every female in the family has taken pics in it..now its her turn..after her..it will most likely be passed on to my cousins daughter Cadence. Its a very special dress..

I dont have anything special for johnny to wear..this whole thing just seemed to come upon me really fast. I looked yesterday but couldnt find much for him.. So hopefully we are able to get to the mall before the pic appointments and find something for him to wear.. i mean i have some back ups, but im not happy with them..

After that we will prolly do lunch, with my mom..who we are going to be doing all of this today with... and then off to whole foods... YAY!

Potty training?

2009-02-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

Im just starting to wonder if we should start or not. I had this discussion with a mom friend of mine and she seems to think my daughter is ready for it.. Im torn..She shows interest in the toilet..goes when i set her on the toilet..stays there until she is done..if i ask her if she wants to come off..she says no until she is done.. Today she went number 2 on the toilet.. thats toilet usage number 4 in the last few days.. She seems ready and interested..but i dunno, i hadnt planned on starting her until she was 20months..she is 17months right now.. And then big girl bed at 2.. per doctors recommendation (for the toddler bed)... I dunno..im thinking about it..

And in other news..Baby J or chunky monkey as i lovingly call him..slept seven hours last night! YAY. Lets hope he repeats tonight.

Oh and i forgot to mention..Last night i made dinner as usual..we sat down to eat..and then grandpa started to eat and so did john...well I look over at aurora..and she had her arms crossed in her "prayer hands..lol" waiting for us to say grace..it was too cute!

Whole foods

2009-02-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

So yesterday my mom and I were hanging out with the two kiddo's, who were both being especially good. Well she told me about this whole foods store and it sounded interesting.. so we drove out there.. its pretty far away...and I LOVED IT. I love how the produce is locally grown and organic...doesnt travel more than seven miles from where it was grown.. A lot of it was from Washington. They had this great prepared food section and it had this great kale salad...oh it was good.... And the prices seemed to be cheaper than my local grocery store.. needless to say we will be going back..friday! Cant wait..im going to make out my grocery list. Oh and i bought this great tea... mothers milk tea.. to help promote healthy lactation.

Also while i was there i picked up a laundry detergent that will be better for the cloth diapers.. planet.. It was very highly rated on a website i found and its biodegradable. Which i think is good as well.. I mean God created this wonderful place for us and we really should try our best not to abuse it. I dont know what inside me is changing lately but it just is.

And on sat i got to see dr. laura speak in person..it was great..she was great! She was funny, uplifiting..makes me want to finish reading the proper care and feeding of a husband..if i can find my copy.. i just get so distracted sometimes. And the best part is the baby got breastmilk the entire time i was gone! I worked really hard to pump enough for him to have and he even had some leftover! I gave that to him last night. Im going to pump little by little and build myself a nice little stash up so that if we want to go out for a little date or something..or for some reason i need him to take a bottle..then he can without actually having formula.

Money is a little tight right now, but then again i think it is for most... we will get through it. It should get a lot better in about a week.. so we can deal with it.

Went to weight watchers today and lost another 2 pounds.. im happy with that since i didnt do as great this last week. This upcoming week i plan on trying to get more exersize in.. wish me luck..lol.. i get pretty busy with the kids.

We also went to see my grandma today..poor woman.. i just wish this whole thing hadnt happened..she is so miserable.. i hope she can come home soon.

Well im not sure thats everything i wanted to say..but it will do for now : )

Hang in there jack

2009-02-06T18:37:00.000-08:00

LOL..i love the new jack in the box ad campaign! Its great.. Hang in there jack!

In other news... lil brother is wayyy into baby einstein..aurora hated it..but i brought it out for him..and oh my does he love it..the first time he was like smiling at it..its baby Mozart.. and he will stop crying and just stare and stare...he really likes it.. And he was being too cute at my grandmas house today when we were visiting my aunt..he was laying on the floor and cooing at me..and i was talking to him and he was just smiling and smiling.. just makes my heart melt!

Grandma is still in the convalescent hospital and she hates it..she gets made and slams her fists on the bed and says she wants to go home..if my aunt doesnt take her home she will never forget her..etc.. its not this particular hospital, just hospitals in general..she just doesnt want to be there..and she has been there for over two weeks now, but she has to heal her hip..she has to learn to walk on it again..and she has to start being able to pee on her own, because currently they have the poor woman in a diaper and catheter. My aunt will take her home, but just wants her to be able to walk to the restroom..thats it..and the restroom is not far from grandmas bed and she will get her a potty chair so she wont even have to walk that far.. We try to go visit her every day or so..lately we have only made it every other day..today we were there for an hour and a half..the kids get ancy though.

Oh and the other day i asked aurora if she want to use the big girl potty..she ran to the restroom...and i put her on..with a small child potty seat attachment thingy..and she went! She went again later that day..and today! She still is using a diaper..but im excited that she is eager to use the toilet..she hates the potty chair we have for her, but loves the big girl toilet...real toilet.. Ill sit there with her and ask if she wants to get off..no..no..She normally says no until she goes potty...So now im debating on whether or not to potty train her now..instead of waiting until 20months which was my original intention. She turned 1 7months today...

Time will tell.. Well ive got a MOMs club thing to go to tomorrow..I had planned on taking the baby since im breastfeeding, even though it isnt a thing for kids..and most people dont bring theres..but luckily ive been able to pump a bit this week and store up milk for a bottle or two..im going to try and pump some more tonight and just get as much milk for him..and if he has to he can have formula..he has had it before..but hopefully he will have enough milk..john will be taking care of him. i asked the doc about giving him a bottle of formula or breast milk and she said that its prolly a good idea to give him practice and keep him from rejecting it all together if i ever need to give him one for some reason.

2 month check up

2009-02-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

stats:

weight 13 pounds 14 ounces (80%)
height 24 3/4 inches (90%)
head 16" (??%)

Still breastfeeding. We just started moving him from our bed, co sleeping, to his bassinet. Still baby wearing :). All that jazz... got a good routine goin.

He rolls, holds his head up for a minute or two and lifts it a full 90 degrees on tummy, stilll rolling over, coo's. smiles, etc

Doc said he is doin great!

i might post more later...

Made my first two cloth diapers

2009-01-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

and im so proud!

So happy with the way they turned out..the first one is a little smaller than i wanted it to be..but still works..and the second one works great.. Here they are.. They are kck one diapers..i bought the pattern online

I have another one started..and fabric to make a few more.. im excited..

Update on hubbys job

2009-01-30T21:50:00.000-08:00

So we finally have news! Its not offical or anything, his boss called and told him what is going on. Apparently some of his computers security programs thought he had a hacking program on the computer, but when they actually took a look at the computer they found out it was just his devry school program. So he isn't losing his job but he is being written up for downloading stuff to his computer. He goes back to work tuesday. The human resources woman still has to call and then it will technically be offical.

Aparently his boss and the higher up boss finally went down to hr to see what the heck is going on..and i think maybe helped speed the process along. So yay.. he isnt losing his job! And while its not great that he is getting written up, it is a heck of a lot better than losing his job.. And from now on out he will be just working at work..and then doing nothing on his lunches..no more internet and no more schoolwork.. best to be safe than sorry...

Busy busy busy

2009-01-28T22:41:00.000-08:00

So some of you may know that john has been off work for almost a week now. Tomorrow marks a week that his work put him on paid administrative leave..pending some sort of investigation. We have no clue what they are looking for, what they think he did..etc.. So pray for some sort of end to this.... I just want to know whats going on. Sure I'm scared he is going to lose his job, but part of me just keeps saying.. how..how could they fire him..one of their best employee's. Someone who has never taken a sick day, never late, never reprimanded, received multiple awards, etc.. The things that he has done are minor infractions at best and things that he told them about up front. Like doing his schoolwork in his lunch hour.. and accessing the Internet...which kinda goes hand in hand with the schoolwork. These are both things he shouldn't be doing, but apparently most employee's do.. but again..that's not an excuse.He shouldn't be doing it and in the future wont be, if given the chance..

On another front. Im halfway through making my own cloth diapers and just bought another diaper off ebay. Im waiting on some aplix (commercial Velcro) and some elastic to come in the mail so i can finish them up. I also started making my own diaper wipes..since it only seems logical to make wipes to go with the diapers. Right now we are only cloth diapering maybe 1% of the day.. since we only have two..now three.. But as soon as john gets paid again im going to buy a prefold sampler kit for aurora.. to use during the day when john isn't home (since he doesn't really want to cloth diaper and i really do so im trying to make it as easy as possible for him..thats why we are doing pocket or all in ones) But that way i can cloth diaper while i build up my stash of pockets and all in ones. Ive decided to start with aurora because i have a ton of disposable diapers for the baby..ones given to me at my showers.. Oh and i bought some items to use as inserts for the diapers i am making. As well as some fleece to maybe make soakers with.

Oh and i started weight watchers on Monday. I feel so much healthier. John and I went grocery shopping (where i bought reusable shopping bags.. im telling you.. im getting more granola crunchy by the day!) And bought tons of healthy whole grains and such.. Right now i feel as thought i am doing well. We even walked to the grocery store earlier in the day for a few items then went back in the car for everything (since we couldnt carry everything in the stroller home with us).

And today i have done loads and loads of laundry. Just busy busy busy...lol

Also on Monday i had to have some cavities filled at the dentist..since they wouldnt do it while i was preggo..they didnt want to chance anything..they like to wait until you have had the baby.

Well anyways..thats whats up.. im trying not to think about the whole job thing..it really really scares me and like i said.. part of me thinks they just cant fire him.. thats what i keep saying to myself. John was a mess the first day..like he was going to cry. Said things like what are we going to do, what is he going to do, he is the provider..etc.. Would i still love him if he couldnt provide..etc.. he is taking it really hard..He works hard to allow me to stay home and live the nice life that we do..and this is killing him

Play date fun

2009-01-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

Today we had another play date with Deja and Logan. He is a cutie! Its nice being able to just sit around and talk about whats going on in our lives.. and share the ups and downs of mommyhood. : )

Also grandma is being moved to a convalescent hospital for recover. Luckily my best friend works at one that she thinks is top notch..so we will be sending grandma there and its nice to feel like grandma is in good hands. Hopefully she recovers quickly and is outta there soon.

Things have been going well around here. Breastfeeding is going great. We have been cosleeping but are slowly transitioning baby j into the bassinet..which is going well. He also is starting to like his swing more and it gives me a chance to do other things..like play with aurora or clean.

Well thats about it for now : ) Baby J turned 2 months old today, but he doesnt have his check up for another two weeks.

Prayers please

2009-01-17T15:25:00.000-08:00

Please pray for my grandma. She fell today and they think she broke her hip. My aunt and cousin live with her and she is able to do things herself, but she is older and stumbles easily nowadays. She is 87 years old. She has esophageal cancer and undergoes chemo for it, right now its stable, not any worse or better. Well today she was alone for a few short hours while some new furniture was being bought and brought over to her house. She fell and was able to get to the phone to call my dad and my aunts. They rushed over there and called an ambulance. They said she was in pain and the paramedics seem to think she might have broken her hip.

Update:
I went to visit her..she was tired, weak and a little out of it. She shattered her hip and now has to have hip surgery..either tonight or tomorrow. They are waiting for the surgeon to come speak to them. I know this surgery is likely to be very risky for her and im worried.

Update number 2:
My aunt arrived at the hospital today to find my grandma already in surgery! Grandma is out of surgery now and the doctor said it went well. Now she is on the road to recovery. She will be resting today and then at some point she will have to go to either the hospitals rehabilitation center or an elderly home to do her rehabilitation.. the doctor said that could last for at least a week. Im so thankful that my grandma is doing good. Please keep praying for a full and swift recovery.

Dont have much time

2009-01-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

To post..

Been busy..going here there and everywhere..lol.. I normally just check everything from hubbys phone and typing a blog on there would be rather difficult... We have been having playdates with our friends... deja and her cute lil son logan and lacy and her cutie devyn... Also we have started transitioning to cloth diapers..pocket diapers to be exact.. we will see how it goes. I just bought our first two today, they were pricey but i like them so far.. I also bought a pattern recently and ordered some fabric online and will be attempting to make my own. Im a pretty good seamstress so hopefully it will go well.

Oh and took baby john into the lactation consultants for a weight check..gained 11 ounces in 9 days.. now he is 11 pounds 11 ounces. : ) Two month check up coming up in about two weeks, he will actually be two and a half months at the time..

Tomorrow he will be eight weeks old : )

Been busy busy busy

2009-01-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

Been busy.. Doing tons of laundry.. we are finally getting back into a routine.. Get kids up.. both get diapers changed and dressed.. Aurora gets her hair done, face washed, teeth brushed..all that jazz.. Then make her breaskfast..feed her..then feed him.. sometimes he gets fed first if he is really having a fit.. Then play...grandpa often comes over to play with aurora outside... and all that jazz.

The other day my friend Deja came over with her new son Logan. The two boys had a playdate.. it was fun..her son is about a month older than baby john. It was nice to sit and talk and at one point we were both breastfeeding on the couch..lol..

Then today I took both kids to the park by myself..met my friend lacy and her son Devyn there.. that was an interesting event... aurora had fun..ill write more later. Then lacy and i got some food and met at my grandma's house. Stayed there with the kids for a long time and then home. Now im pretty tired..lol..

Pics and more details to come soon.

WEVE GRADUATED!

2009-01-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

From the breastfeeding clinic that is..lol. We went in again yesterday..and he gained 10 ounces! in a week! he is now 11pounds!!!! YAY... and we breastfed there, he did well and she said it seems like we dont need them anymore and she said John has graduated..lol : ) She said we can call and come back if we ever have issues and need them, but that he is doing good on his own.. So no more bottles if i dont want to give him one. I did mention that im having trouble pumping much of anything and she said that it sounds like i might be not responding to my pump anymore because my body has become so used to the way my son lets the milk down.. oh well.. i guess if we go out then he will either have the little breast milk that i do pump or formula, since has had it already. But im going to try and pump a little everyday and maybe build up a store in the freezer.

Oh and i also had my postpartum yesterday.. she said everything looked a-ok and asked what kind of birth control i was thinking. I was on the fence about a few different kinds, but i really wanted no hormonal.. so i opted for the paragard IUD.. We want to start trying for baby number three in about three years.. so ill have it taken out in about three years.. ugh.. I really dont like the thought of knowing that right now i prolly cant get pregnant.. but i need to remind myself that its not forever..but that right now we dont have the time, money, or space for another baby.

And we also took pumpkin to the park yesterday..johnny slept in his car seat the entire time.. daddy stayed with johnny by the stroller and i played with pumpkin on the playground, we had a blast!

Bummed

2009-01-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Im kinda depressed right now..mainly because john has had to work so much lately.. and i just miss him.. miss having him around all the time. And then on the rare occasion he has a day off..we are running around with doctors appointments and errands. Today is especially depressing because he hasnt had a day off in a week.. tomorrow would be his day off, but he has to work half day, and the only reason he isnt working the whole day is because we have two appointments to go to.. my post partum and another lactation appointment. Then today he tells me that he has to go back to work tonight..he came home for maybe an hour...and then had to head back out..and will prolly be gone all night :( Luckily my father is here to keep me company and help me out..though aurora is in bed and ive just got the baby to take care of, but i would be rather lonely.

Well though thats sad..we did have a good day. My cousin brandon came to visit and i hadnt seen him in forever.. Aurora looked super cute today, as she does everyday, but she just keeps growing up and looking more and more like a child..and while i love that, its just hard to realize she isnt my little baby anymore. And baby john just makes me realize how much she has grown and even he is getting bigger, getting more interested in other things.

Its a NEW YEAR!

2009-01-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

YAY for 2009! At some point im going try to post one of those look back questionaires about 2008.. when i get a chance.

How we spent our new year..lol. People kept asking me if i had plans for new years eve..and i was like yes..SLEEP.. hello..im a mom..with a newborn and a 1yr old, i was not about to give up my sleep for anything! So we did go to sleep. At midnight someone set off fireworks and it woke the baby and me up..just great. Luckily i just breastfed him back to sleep.

What did we do on Jan 1st..not much. John had to work the latter portion of the day. So we ate breakfast together that morning and just played with the kiddos. Then my dad came over like two hours after john left for work. We all went for a drive then went to my grandmas for a visit. Were there for a long time, I took aurora for a walk, while dad watched the baby. Then we came back, got em ready to go and headed out again. Took another short drive and went home.. That was my day.. Picked up the house.. thats about it.

I dont get a whole lot of time to do anything, the baby screams if i put him down and rarely lets anyone else hold him. He is okay in his vibrating seat for maybe five minutes, but thats it. The swing broke! But luckily john took it apart and fixed it..some plastic piece on the inside was broken. He is laying in it as we speak, though he is not asleep and i bet i will have to go in there and get him in a bit. I was glad he could fix it, because it was only like a 1 1/2 ago that we bought that one..and it was expensive! And i loved it with aurora.

SNOW!

2008-12-31T08:20:00.000-08:00

With grandpa

The three of us, mommy, aurora, and johnny!

Aurora and mommy!

Aurora in the snow.

So we took the kiddo's (we being my father and I, hubby had to work ) to the mountains to see snow. Mostly for aurora since i didnt really intend on having the baby out of the car in the snow. We packed them up for it to be very cold then headed on our way.. Got halfway up to big bear, where we had intended on going... and were making great time, except for the minor part of my father getting us lost.. his age is starting to show. Well halfway up we hit a HUGE traffic jam.. bumper to bumper going barely 2miles an hour. Stopped at a turnout so i could breastfeed the baby and aurora could eat and walk around. It wasnt very cold and i was undressing the baby to change his diaper and he was soaking wet with sweat. Dad took Aurora out into a bit of snow on the side of the road but apparently all she wanted to do was try to eat it, so they came back.

Got back into the traffic and headed back towards big bear in the bumper to bumper traffic, contemplated turning around and heading home because we thought it might not be worth it. Got to where the road turns off to go to running springs, big bear, or arrowhead. Said forget big bear and turned of to go to lake arrowhead. BEST decision we made! No one was on the road..no traffic, it was beautiful.. so we get to arrowhead village and its like 1pm.. dad hasnt eaten and neither have i, but the place was packed! So we drove around a bit and ended up taking a long drive around the lake where aurora started getting a bit upset about being in the car so long, but i think she handled it very well. No crying, so screaming, just an occasional whine to remind us. Baby J also gave occasion protests. Found a McDonald's, finally got us Adults something to eat. Headed back out of arrowhead to a place we had seen on the way in for good snow play.

Dad ate in the car, while i took aurora out into the snow. At first she didnt want to be put down and would cry. But i sat her down and threw tiny tiny snow balls at her and giggled..did that for a bit then dad came over, took a few pics. Gave me the keys to the car, which was like four feet away. And i went to feed and change baby john. They played and took pics for a bit and then came back. Aurora got her diaper changed then got back into the car. We headed home. The traffic was still bumper to bumper into big bear, thankfully we didnt go there!

On the way home we had to make another stop because johnny was having a melt down and wanted to eat. We were so close to home, but i didnt want to make the poor guy wait. So we stopped fed him, dad and aurora ate again..and then headed home. We got home about thirty minutes before John got home from work. I wish he could have been there : ( Next year we are totally taking a family snow trip!

Video of aurora in the snow

Progress

2008-12-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

We went to the lactation consultant yet again today for another weight check and thankfully he gained 9ounces in 7days! Seems like switch nursing and chucking the nipple shield has worked! YAY. Not only that but he took 4.2 ounces from me while we were there! Thats a whole 1.2 increase from last week. She said she was very happy with all the progress he is making and said his suck is about 70% of the way there, still a bit of learning for him to do. She also said we can continue letting hime sleep seven hours during the night, because whatever we are doing now its working. He normally eats every hour during the day and sleeps seven hours during the night.

He has now gained his birth weight back and then some..hopefully it just keeps going up and up. She asked if i wanted to come back in a week or two weeks, she said she felt comfortable with two weeks, but i said i wanted to do one weeks. Just to make sure everything is on track.

Christmas!!!

2008-12-26T10:42:00.001-08:00

Some of my fave moments of the day

Family moment

aurora moment

john moment

Christmas was wonderful!

Christmas eve we trimmed the tree, yes we waited till christmas eve to decorate! Sent our little girl off to bed in her cute winter pj's...they have snowflakes all over them. Then Santa came and dropped off all the gifts..and it was then that i realized.. Our little girl is SPOILED! Its okay though..thats how i remember christmas, so i guess thats why i go so big on christmas, i really didnt think i had until i saw all the gifts in one spot... Took some pics and went off to bed.

Woke up in the morning, fed baby john in the living room. Aurora was still sleeping. My father came over, didnt want to miss her opening her gifts The neighbors Son, who is a friend of Auroras..even though he is 14..they are buddies : ), came over to watch her open her gifts. John got aurora up, brought her into the living room and she didnt even look at her presents..lol..she was just amazed that Ross, her buddy, was in the living room! LOL.. So we had Ross stand by the presents and thats when she noticed. First she pointed at the chair, then the gigantic puppy dog..then we started opening presents. She enjoyed that part.. Though once in awhile certain toys would distract her.. like the little xylophone, the bitty baby, and the toothbrush in her stocking. She wouldnt open anymore gifts until the bitty baby was taken out..she loved that doll. And the toothbrush and toothpaste were both stocking stuffers. Once they came out, her teeth had to be brushed. She finally upgraded from the finger brush to a big girl toddler toothbrush! She justs loves having her teeth brushed! Then we took a abreak for her to eat breakfast..Then continued opening gifts. At some point Ross went home, realizing it was going to take a LONG LONG time to open all her gifts..lol

She got a ton of stuff...books, dolls, balls, shopping card, tons of fake food and groceries, a box of animal crackers, a whole baby set(stroller, bouncy seat, diaperbag, swing, high chair..etc), another baby swing, sesame street remote, sleeping beauty on disney blu ray, a chair, a gigantic dog, a table and chairs, a disney princess tea set, building blocks, a daughter ornament, clothes, two pairs of shoes (she LOVES shoes), tooth brush and toothpaste, a recorder..the instrument, mini dolls, xylophone, new bath letters, tadoodles bath crayons, tadoodles markers, gigantic coloring book, and more...

I got a diamond necklace, john said he picked it out cause it had two hearts for two kids. And designer scrabble..which is a pink scrabble game! awesome! and tons of candy! And some socks from my mom. And money from other family members.

John got a fountain for his desk at work, the dark knight on blu ray and walle on blu ray, an energy shot, a lysol to go, air heads, two christmas ornaments, an icy penguin. My father got him an engraved desk clock/pen for his desk at work. Mom got us both a gift card to black angus. Other family members gave him money. Oh and his G1 phone was considered his big christmas gift. He got it early though.

After everything was opened..except for baby johns gifts...we asembled everything and played with aurora. She had a blast! Then we ate and hung around the house all day. We watched sleeping beauty. My grandma, aunt, and cousin came over and opened gifts with us. They played with Aurora a bit and then left. Aurora went down for a nap, begrudgingly but she was rubbing her eyes she was so tired. We watched Wall-e... and just hung around the house. In the evening my mom came over and opened gifts with us and played with aurora.

Then we had aurora open up johnnys gifts for him and she did very good realizing they were for him and would try handing them to him.. the only one she wanted to keep was a blue elephant someone got him.. He got a basketball hoop game for babies, a baseball game for babies, his own tool kit for babies, a hammer, three ornaments, clothes, a bib, and more.

Well id like to spell check this now, but ive got to go..so sorry for any spelling errors.

Lactation appointment number 7

2008-12-22T14:57:00.001-08:00

Well its been one week since I saw the lactation consultant yet again. Well we went in today and found out that he had gained no weight nor lost any. So then she wanted to try without the nipple shield. She said he has a choppy suck and wanted to see how he does with the shield. Apparently it got even worse so then we went back to not using it. We also did switch feeding whrn his suck got too choppy or he fell asleep we would switch breasts. So then she checked after awhile and he had taken a total of 3 ounces...we have only ever gotten him to take 2 at theie office with the shield. So she wants me to chuck the shield and go without. She taught mt what ro look for in the difference of sucks. We go back in 1 week. She wants me to continue to give him a few bottles a day to total 9 ounces in a 24 hour period, but not after every feeding and only till he is on track and back to birth weight. She also wants me to pump 6 times a day and use just breastmilk for the bottles.Oh and he turned a month old yesterday

Well gotta go..here is pic to enjoy

Holiday christmas party

2008-12-22T00:06:00.000-08:00

We went to a family christmas party today. Had fun. Aurora was all over the food table..lol..lots of fruit and crakers.. and water. Baby john slept mostly..though he did wake and want to be fed..where we retreated to my grandmas bedroom and i tried to feed him..and suceeded..even though it was a bit awkward...missed my boppy pillow..thought about bringing it but didnt. Aurora had a blast playing with cousin cody and it was fun to see all the distant family members.

Some family members gave Aurora and John some gifts for christmas, which was very nice. Came home and then realized a few hours later i had forgotten my

purse..luckily we dont live that far from grandmas and john went to retrieve it for me. Tomorrow we have lactation appointment number seven..wish us luck..and pray for weight gain..

Gamer chick

2008-12-20T21:16:00.000-08:00

So this pic is from last night. Aurora was wearing daddys xbox 360 headset..she loves to pretend play. : )

Today was a good and productive day. John had the day off..we went to the store, then the post office and omg there were so many people there. Thank God for my moby wrap..john slept the entire time! And Aurora was good too..it was amazing. Then to sears to pic up our christmas cards..then home..fill out the christmas cards..then mail those off... then out to go grocery shopping..then home. All in all its been a great day.

Oh and yesterday baby john rolled over..four times! He is a squirmer. Sorry the video is so dark..

Another quick update

2008-12-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Things are good.. just busy..baby j wants to be with me 24/7..but refuses to be in his moby wrap at home..though he absolutely loves it when we are out. Walked around the mall in it, tons of stores.. I finished all my xmas shopping in the last few days. We took aurora to see Christmas lights and Santa, took her to the children's museum..we have been pretty busy around here..However when we are home baby j wants to eat nonstop and because of his weight issues i am inclined to let him feed whenever he wants.

We are co-sleeping..something im not a fan of, but oh well. I am just concerned its not a safe place, but its the only place he will sleep right now..so be it... yes i know we will have to break him of the habit someday.. I still wish we could cloth diaper, but hubby is still very against it.. I told him the other day that i feel i am turning into a granola crunchy mom..lol.. however i will never give up my bleach..nor my MAC make up..lol.. : )

Oh and we got our christmas tree, ive wrapped nearly all the presents though im keeping them in another room so aurora cant get to them...we still need to decorate the tree..oh and i stuffed the stockings... its been really cold and rainy here too..

Gotta be quick

2008-12-14T09:39:00.000-08:00

Things going well. Breastfeeding seems to be going better, we will see on Monday if he gained any weight. I changed my appointment from tuesday to monday so john could take me.

We got our christmas tree last night and it cost a small fortune, but its beautiful!

Monday we are gonna try to take the kids to see santa and to see christmas lights in a local neighborhood..

Well gotta go, duty calls.

LC appointment number...ahh who's counting anymore!

2008-12-11T18:03:00.001-08:00

LOL.. i am! Number six i believe...

Went in..they said he was 9 pounds 9 ounces..which would be a 2 ounce drop from his pedi appointment, but she said she wasnt going by that because their scales could have a difference and that just him peeing cold throw his weight off by two ounces.. and i also mentioned that i was concerned his weight at the pedi appointment was inaccurate because he had eaten immediately before we went and hadnt pee'd..so i knew he had at least two ounces of supplemental formula in him and then whatever he took from my breast... So she decided to off of his last recorded weight at the lactation clinic...so from that he had a five ounce weight gain. She also said his jaundice was gone...

So we did the breastfeeding and he took two ounces total.. but my right breast is really not keeping up with my left.. the mastitis really left my supply in the dumps on that side..so she wants me to pump at least six times a day on that side. I am also continuing to take the more milk plus herbal supplement.

She agreed to start cutting back on the formula bottles..and supplementing in general.. She says to do 1 to 1 1/2 ounces after each feeding. And i also mentioned how he is a sleeper..goes about five hours in between feedings at night.and she says not to let him do that right now.. that once my supply is established and his weight is back up past his birthweight..then we can let him go longer between nighttime feedings.

And then today was nice..i got some cleaning done around the house. Still stuff to do, but Rome wasnt built in a day! We started getting the christmas lights up yesterday. I visited my grandma today..that was nice.

Well john is finally home from work..yay.. i missed him. gotta go..hope everyone is doing well...

Gettin into the swing of things

2008-12-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

Life is starting to get more routine..starting to calm down a bit. Ive been able to get a lot done. We went out tuesday and I did pretty much all of my christmas shopping for the kiddo's...just a few more small things to get and some stocking stuffers. I also picked up a thing or two for john, but we dont plan on buying each other much, plus he has his new phone was his christmas gift..and im fine with that.

Then we got down all the christmas lights.. I had the baby in the Moby wrap which went great.. Allowed me to be out and about with aurora, which i really liked. Took her for a short walk.

I also started weaning the baby off his bottles.. took them down from 2 ounces to 1 ounce..during the day..at night he doesnt breastfeed as well and goes a lot longer between feedings, so i have kept those at 2 ounces...

Well ill update this more later..gotta go..time to feed the little one.

not out of the woods yet...

2008-12-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

Well today we had a pedi appointment for Baby J, which went great. However John couldnt go, so i had to take the baby solo. Today is Johns day off and I had a lot planned for today, but sadly john started getting sick last night and is sick today. So all those things we were going to try and get done today have to be put off for another time... Which im kinda sad about.

Well anyways. The pedi appointment was for a weight check and his jaundice..well yay he gained 7 ounces in four days! He is now 9pounds 11 ounces... And his jaundice seems to be gone! Yay.. So we have a lactation appointment on thursday and im really hoping that we start cutting back on the bottles or the pumping or something..because honestly its getting to wear on me. I really want to spend more time with aurora. My father has been around a lot and watching her a lot and its driving me nutts. I see some bad habits coming out in her..and my father refuses to follow our parenting style..which would be fine if he only saw her once in awhile, but he sees her everday since he lives right next door.. So it may sound mean, but i kicked him out today. He was getting on my nerves...calling me names..saying im a nazi, because i have discipline in my household. We are starting to get back into a routine, im very thankful for that. Right now aurora is down for her nap, we will see if she actually goes to sleep.. and the baby is sleeping. He needs to eat again by the next hour..so unless he wakes up i have a little down time. I picked up the living room and kitchen. The bedroom needs to be picked up, but john is sleeping in there.

Oh and the pedi told me that the baby could potentially catch this flu...and that there isnt much they can do for him if he does..so keep him away from the sick people...which is what we have been trying to do.. so far no sickness, but im watching him pretty close..i really pray he doesnt catch it..

Its been rough...

2008-12-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Man it seems like we have had a freaking rough two weeks!

Okay, so obviously some of the things that were happening we knew were coming, like the birth of our son. But other things like the tenant giving us her 30 days notice threw us for a loop... and yes we did have a month to plan for that...but things happened that were out of our control and made a tough situation even more difficult.

First Baby John was born..which was wonderful. The birth went great. We left the hospital and he screamed and screamed at night for the first three days.. On the second day being home I became engorged and couldnt feed him. I already have slightly flat nipples and when my breasts become engorged they get really hard and make my nipples very flat. So he was hungry which lead to lots of crying, which lead to him being very gassy the next night. So then we saw the lactation consultant, which ill refer to as LC from here on out... and he had lost weight.. so we started a supplement regiment..which was 1/2 ounce to an ounce of breast milk after every breastfeeding. So we did that, but he continued to lose weight and became jaundiced.. and while that happened, i got mastitis in my right breast on thanksgiving. Which pretty much ruined thanksgiving for us cause i was very sick..had the chills and fever.. so we pretty much skipped out on that. My father took aurora to my moms, where we had planned on going, for thanksgiving.

Then the mastitis started getting better and the back tenant went two days over moving out..which cut our five days to paint, repair, and install carpet to the apartment..down to three...yeah that sucked. So then i started help painting.. I would paint, john would call me when the baby needed to be fed..i would feed him, pump and then go back to painting. Got the living room and most of the hall done that way... So then the next day we saw the LC yet again (oh and in all of this we say the pedi twice two...and this was LC trip number 4) and learned that he had gained a bit of weight...YAY..he gained 1.8ounces at LC trip number 3 and 4.2 at LC trip number 4!!! and his jaundice seems to have gone away, we see the pedi again tomorrow about that..hoping for even more weight gain. Of course by LC trip number 2 they had us giving him 2 ounces of formula or breast milk after every feeding, which is where it has stayed at since then..hopefully soon it will be going down..to almost no bottles after feedings....

Well anyways..on the day we have LC trip number 4...aurora comes down with the flu..poor thing was puking up everything. Screaming cause she wanted to eat but couldnt. I had to give her sips of 1tsp of pedialyte every ten minutes and up the dosage as long as she wasnt throwing up... Well guess what..that night I got the flu...and i was puking up everything. Poor john was emptying out my puke bucket.. feeding the baby, and taking care of aurora..who threw up on him that night. It was a rough night. So now..who is going to paint..well my aunt had my cousins ex boyfriend come by with a friend and dad paid them to paint. Which has actually caused a lot of drama, cause dad thinks they did a crappy and unfinished job, my aunt thinks he should be grateful it got done and thinks he should have paid them more.. oh well..im not gonna be a part of all that...

So then the next day when i was recovering and still had diarrhea... John had to go to work..his boss was being mean and wouldnt let him come home early. So here i was still sick..taking care of a newborn..and keeping up with my breastfeeding.. luckily my father came by to watch my daughter..who was also still getting over being sick... And then when i was sick i couldnt take my antibiotics and i started to feel like my mastitis was coming back or even getting in my good breast...luckily today that feeling has gone away and im back on my antibiotics... and im taking a herbal supplement to up my milk supply..its good on my left side, but the mastitis has left my right side pretty crappy...

Now we all seem to be back to normal.. Hopefully things calm down!! I think thats everything.. Tomorrow we have pedi appointment number 3! And Thursday LC appointment number 5!

Need some encouragement...

2008-11-28T15:31:00.000-08:00

So I know ive been MIA for awhile, but we have been so busy and had so much to deal with lately. John has continually lost weight since birth..as of today he has dropped from 10lbs to 8lbs 14oz...they are concerned because he has lost ten percent of his birth weight and is now a bit jaundiced..and if thats not enough..I have mastitis in one of my breasts. We are continuing to breastfeed and see the lactation nurse regularly.. And as of right now we are giving him pumped breast milk (or possibly formula if i dont have enough pumped breast milk to cover him over the weekend) in a bottle. It started out with us breastfeeding and then giving him a 1/2 to an 1 of pumped breast milk in a bottle...well he still lost weight. I told the lactation consultant that i feel he isnt latched on as deeply at home as when she helps us out at the clinic. Here is the low down on whats happened.
On day three of us being home..i became horribly engorged..to the point that the baby couldnt latch on..i already have semi flat nipples and large breasts..but when they became larger due to the engorgement it became almost impossible for my nipple to stick far enough out for him to latch. So we saw the lactation consultant and she gave me a nipple shield which has worked wonders..and had us supplement him with the 1/2 ounce to an ounce.. well we came home and did all of that..
Well on thanksgiving i woke up and thouht i was engorged in my right breast again.. fed the baby...then i began to get horrible chills..i got a fever and it just continued to rise..to 100.9 at its highest..called the advice nurse..they sent me in to urgent care...and it was confirmed that i had mastitis. I was put on antibiotics to get rid of the breast infection and told to continue nursing on the affected side. Well as the day went by he would refuse to eat on that side..and it seemed as though he wasnt getting much when he did and that i wasnt pumping much.. So we saw the lactation consultant today to learn he had lost even more weight...reaching the 8 14 that i mentioned prior... Well she discussed the mastitis with me and decided to have me not breastfeed him on that side and continue to feed him on my good side..especially since not much is coming out and its very painful to feed him on that side...she also said he looked jaundiced..more so than his last appointment.. So she called his pedi..had him order us a blood test..and told us to make an appointment on Monday or Tuesday to see the pedi and i have another lactation appointment on Monday.
We did the test, came home and waited for the results. In the meantime i breastfed him on my good breast and it went great..had to strip him down to the diaper to keep him awake (the lactation consultant mentioned that the jaundice most likely made him very sleep and lethargic... i wish she could see him at three in the morning when he is screaming his lungs out..) Then i pumped my infected breast and i got freaking 10ml...i dont know if you know how pitiful that is, but its pitiful. The lactation nurse told me thats normal..that the infection is blocking my ducts and not allowing me to let down my milk as well.. To ice my breast for the next two to three days and continue to pump it..and pump the other breast as well..
Then i got a call telling us that his jaundice levels were in the mild to moderate range and that as long as we stay vigilant on the new plan of supplementing him 2 ounces of either pumped breast milk or formula after every feeding, he should be fine till Monday. We just have to keep an eye on his wet and dirty diapers..and coloring.
Soooo..thats what we have been up to.. Im really hoping this will work out...

A quick update

2008-11-25T14:21:00.001-08:00

Well as you know we are busy busy busy. The last few nights have been pretty sleepless, except for last night which went well comapared to the others. Baby John is a crier...something aurora never really was..so he is keeping us awake..the first night he wanted to eat eat eat...breastfeed all the time..the next night he was gassy..and then last night he was upset because i couldnt breastfeed him..I was very engorged..and still am..and he couldnt latch on because it was causing my nipple to be flat. Well we saw the doctor yesterday for his check up..and he had lost another few pounds..was down to 9pounds 4ounces...the weight aurora was at birth..and then we went to see the lactation consultant today and he lost another two ounces! Down to 9pounds 2 ounces...they will only let him get down to 9 pounds (a ten percent body weight loss) before he has to supplement with formula.. So today the lactation consulatant helped me get him latched correctly and being engorged and all...using a nipple shield... came home and succesfully did it again on both breasts..so i think we are heading in the right direction. After im done feeding him, we are to give him 1/2 to 1 ounce of pumped breastmilk..to try and bulk up his weight..however he wouldnt take a 1/2 ounce earlier...but then again he did breastfeed on both breasts for a total of like 37minutes or so...and that was only two hours after his last feeding at the laction consulatant.. So im gonna call and leave em a message asking what to do in case he wont take it.. Right now we are using a medicine cup to give it to him..trying to avoid the bottle as much as possible..though they said if its like 3am and he has been crying and is hungry..then go ahead with a slow flow bottle..which we did last night. The supplementing is only supposed to last a few days... I see them again on Friday...so pray my little guy has gained some weight by then..im pretty sure he will though...my milk just came in the night before last and with the engorgement and improper latch (he tries to take just the nipple and none of the surrounding breast tissue, because i have a flater nipple) he hasnt been getting what he should. Though the lactation appointment confirmed that he is getting milk..So thats good.

Oh and his umbilical cord stump fell off already! We asked the doc about it yesterday cause it was just barely hanging on and we said...um..is that normal..and she said no, but it looks fine and occasionally they fall off early..and then we came home and i was feeding him and john picked him up and he looked at me and said...his cord came off..and it was laying there in front of me...ewww...lol

Aurora continues to be good with him..she can get rough occasionally, but for the most part she is a very loving, concerned big sis... And today I finally got a chance to spend some alone time with her outside..We went for a walk and then played ball while john watched the baby.

He is here!

2008-11-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

So here is my labor story...

On 11/19 my midwife stripped my membranes and scheduled an induction for 11/21 at ten pm. That evening I had cramping at irregular intervals and tons of bloody show... Both of which my midwife had warned me i would get from her stripping my membranes. So I went to bed, figuring that if the cramping got worse or came at regular intervals then i would call L&D or go in. The next day i woke up without the cramping..gradually it came back, but it wasnt very painful at all.. ive had menstrual cramps that were worse... I had difficulty trying to time them and they felt nothing like when i was in labor with Aurora.. John was texting me while he was at work and eventually talked me into calling labor and delivery. They said to time them for an hour, see if they got worse and call them. So i went for a walk and tried to time them, but still had issues..though I had some that got more painful and moree contraction like. My friend nikki told me to just call them back and go in...because maybe if i do it that way then i will be in a labor room for more than just the pushing this time...

So John comes home from work early and I call Labor and Delivery.. They tell me to come in and get checked, see if my cervix has changed. It had been 4-5cm on the prior day. I go in..they get me into a triage room and hook me up to a machine.. I was having minor contractions occasionally that i couldnt even feel...And at that point the cramping i could feel had gone away again. The midwife on call was very busy and they couldnt check me right away. So the nurse went ahead and checked me and said she though i was 4... So i figured..we are gonna go home...So they had me walk around for an hour...and that just caused me to have back pain..lol.. and so we went back to our room after an hour..tired..and waited yet again to be seen by the midwife.. this time eager for them to come in and tell us we could go home. We were tired, we knew i wasnt in active labor, and we missed our daughter...

Well finally at a few minutes before seven the midwife on call came in. She checked me..and said..I was definitely a five..water bag poking out... i wasnt really contracting...but she said that his heart rate made some occasional dips, but he was doing fine..and then she checked my stomach to guesstimate his size..she said the size, coupled with the minor dips in heart rate, and that i was already five cm...was my "ticket in"..that she was off at seven, but the next midwife coming on would decide what we were going to do from there and whether or not she would pass me off to the Ob's due to the babys large size.

So we sat in our triage room, walked a bit..and waited to be moved to a labor and delivery room. The next midwife came in and me us...and told us that she would like to break my water once we got into the labor and delivery room. So we waited and waited and waited..took them forever to get us into a delivery room...and around ten pm I actually started contracting on my own...they werent too bad so i just breathed through them. They finally moved us and we me with our nurse..who was actually one of the people there at my daughters delivery! Sadly though she was off about half an hour later..

The labor room was nice..it was so nice to have a real labor experience...getting into a room when i can still get a chance to look around...last time i got wheeled into the room, pushed, and had a baby..that was it..no real laboring going on in there.. So then we waited about an hour and the midwife came from a delivery, she checked me and amazingly i was already 6-7cm, plus fully effaced, and then broke my water, at eight minutes past midnight. That was an odd sensation...I never got to feel my water break with Aurora... They cleaned me up and then I sat up again and I had another huge gush of warm clear amniotic fluid..so they cleaned me up again. I breathed through the first few contractions, but then just decided to get a shot of neubaine....That worked out well because the contractions immediately came on fast and strong..The neubaine took the edge off and gave me a chance to relax for a few moments in between the peak of each contraction and then i would breathe through the contraction..they were painful, but I knew delivery couldnt be very far off.

John fell asleep, my mom came and sat there..the nurse told me to call her when i felt the urge to push..So I was in between contractions and i felt this sharp pain..literally made me sit up in bed and i started to think..maybe i was ready to push..so on the next contraction i noticed that i was already pushing a little as it was. So my mom called the nurse for me and told her.. She came in with the midwife.. They checked me again..and yep.. head was plus 2 station, i was nine and a half cm dilated...and ready to go. So they got all their stuff ready.. woke john up..lol..who was very confused because he fell asleep right after they broke my water..and here..a little over an hour and a half later I was getting ready to deliver. This time i wanted to know for sure how long i pushed..so i glanced at the clock..it was right around one fifty...

Then we started the pushing.... I think all together i pushed around five times or so...ten seconds each..and OMG did it hurt.. I felt everything..which wasnt a bad thing..but he did hurt a heck of a lot more than aurora! She stopped me for a second to wiggle her fingers around his head..that hurt.. Out came his head..then his shoulders...which they were concerned about because Aurora had gotten caught on my pelvic bone.. Then the rest of him... He was born at 1:53pm..so it took about three to five minutes to push him out...He came straight to my stomach... They sucked his throat, cleaned him off..he was grasping my finger hard! Tried to breastfeed, but he was slippery and so were my hands. So i let them take him for measurements and to clean him off.. His apgars at birth and a few minutes later were nine and nine....He was crying a lot...

Then they weighed him..and to my amazement..he was ten pounds!!!! He didnt look it to me, but the scale doesnt lie... He was 20 1/2 inches long...While they did all the measurements the midwife did the afterbirth and stitches.. i had a minor first degree tear... two stitches..then they brought him in his diaper back over to me..we attempted to breastfeed again, he was having a tad bit of trouble but with the help of the midwife we got him on... He fed for like twenty minutes... Then they wrapped him up and handed him off to john... Then i got all cleaned up and we got ready to be moved to the postpartum floor. Baby John would cry and then be soothed and then cry a bit.. So we got all situated in the wheelchair and I was holding him and i started humming to him and he was just silent as could be, content to listen to me hum to him. The nurse wheeled us out to this picture frame on the wall with a doorbell in it...and then took a picture of me pressing it...and it played a lullaby throughout the entire hospital...we never got to do that with aurora..then she took another two pics of us as by the frame. Then off to the postpartum floor we went!

The postpartum floor was great..they did pretty much all of his testing in the room with us..His blood sugar was doing great...sixty at birth...fifty one a little later on..and then went up to seventy five even later..He has been breastfeeding like a champ..he cluster fed after he was born then went quite awhile without feeding again..and then i got in the shower came out and he was wide awake and ready to feed...he fed and then went awhile without feeding again and fed..The lactation consultant said not to worry about feeding him every three hours until he was at least 24hours old. He pooped and peed in the first day..so he was doing great..The second day he woke up pretty much on his own every three hours to feed. He has done great at latching and feeding... most of the time feeding for twenty minutes or more..Its a little painful at first and then after a few minutes the pain goes away..The only big thing is that the breastfeeding does bring on uterine cramps, as it should, and those are quite painful. They have me taking Motrin for it.

Aurora came by for a few moments on the first day to see him, but she was very out of sorts..She missed us horribly while we were gone and we missed her. John was really a mess without her..and we just couldnt wait to be home. My dad told us she was looking for me in the morning when she woke up, at night she would hold our wedding picture and point to us...and say ma ma ma ma ma ma.. and then i called that night and he let me talk to her..and she actually talked a bit with me on the phone, but once i said bye bye she started crying. :( It was really hard. My mom watched her the second night and kept her entertained for most of the second day... We came home around two pm..and my mom got pics of the happy reunion!

Aurora came running out of the hall baby gate and straight into my arms..huge smile.. She met baby john, took his little bulb and tried to suck his nose..lol..and then sucked her babys nose..she was being a good little mommy..Then she patted him and gave him a kiss..she seems to be quite taken with her baby brother! Mom watched baby john for a few minutes so we could take aurora outside and play and have a very minor walk in her push car.. Came back..Mom left..Got things in order...John and Aurora left to go grocery shopping. When they were leaving Aurora wanted me to come and said I had to stay with her brother..and she walked over to her baby dolls stroller and smiled and pointed in it..lol..she wanted me to put her baby brother in it and he could come with.

They left and I fed baby john and got comfortable in the house.. Aurora and John came back..and things have been pretty easy going...the house was a mess, but we have been slowly picking it up..Aurora likes try and pat her baby brother..and if you ask her where her baby brother is she will gladly show him off to you. I hope that she continues to be as happy with him. Although she does become quite upset when he cries..she does not like him crying... and we kinda knew this was going to happen. She has a baby doll that makes sounds and if it crys she will cry...So we are just trying to explain to her that he doesnt like nap time either or diaper changing time either..

But anyways..we are home..yay! And i hear a little someone waking up right now..getting close to time for him to feed again. Hopefully breastfeeding continues to work out. He did lose a few ounces in his first day at the hospital..went from ten pounds to nine pounds ten ounces..but they said that was normal..they checked his bilirubin before we left and that was fine. He has a check up on Monday, but it isnt with his normal pedi who will be out that day..which im kinda sad about, but oh well..

Ill post tons of pics later!

quick little update

2008-11-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

So Im sick. I caught Auroras cold.. and now i know what my poor little girl really felt like....and still does feel like..its no fun. My father has also started catching the cold..the last person to get it is John..hopefully he doesnt. Im worried that with me delivering the new baby hopefully today or tomorrow that we can keep him from getting it in some way... but what are the odds if we are all sick!

Well i know this may be tmi, but ive been spotting a lot since yesterday. My midwife warned me I would..I wont go into the gross details, but lets just say its pretty gross..lol.. I was having some minor contractions last night, but they were irregular..every few minutes or so and they didnt hurt that much. And since it was late at night, i chose to try to get some sleep instead..and did get some sleep..slept okay all night..woke up to pee and such...had contractions a few times. I havent had too many contractions this morning though..So i think im gonna try and get some walking done..I just need to get off my butt and get dressed!

Any day now!

2008-11-19T10:43:00.000-08:00

So this morning i had to go to a midwife appointment. I was sad that john couldnt go, but its a work day for him and he had special training to do this morning. They called last night and moved my appointment from the offices i normally go to, to the offices next to the hospital i will deliver at. They did this because of the fire.. we drove past the office this morning and the whole hillside right across the street was burned..so needless to say the fire came really close to their office building.

So my dad drops me off and takes Aurora with him. I was pretty certain she would be stripping my membranes and my daughter does not need to be there for that. So i do all the pee in the cup and all that.. which came out fine. Did my bp..which was fine.. all that. I think i gained like five pounds...

Midwife comes in and we discuss the "plan". She asks how big aurora was. I said she was nine pounds four ounces the day before my due date. She was like Ohh...and mentioned that my due date is tomorrow.. She knew my daughter was big but i guess she didnt know that my daughter had been that big.. So she talked about induction..and would i be willing to go through one..etc.. and said she worked again on Friday. I said i was willing to do an induction, but i was hoping she could strip my membranes and then if i dont go into labor on my own by Friday then we will induce. She agreed that was a good plan.

So she went to strip my membranes, when she checked she said "oh yeah your gonna go into labor" and then she proceeded with the stripping of the membranes..OMG.. it was MORE painful than last time.. i mean seriously painful..and tmi, but when she pulled her hand out it was slightly bloody!!!!! I mean i was grabbing the pillow in pain...ouch..

Afterward she helped me up and told me that i am 4-5 cm dilated.. still a little "long" (dont know what that means" and about 40-50% (which means hubby heard wrong last time when he said she had said 80%...cause i didnt hear that...but he swore he had...anyways..) And the head is right there...still.. And she said that my bag of water is literally "pouching" out of my cervix...

So we will see what happens.. Im set to be induced Friday at 10pm if i dont go into labor before that. Though i do need to call ahead at 9pm and make sure they have a bed for me.. and i can get bumped...