Sunday, November 8, 2009

low self esteem day

I have some very pretty and fashionable family. Now don't get me wrong, I have always thought I was/am pretty. But Ive always been heavyset and more and more I feel like Im always going to be heavyset. Although I went to the gym today, but I did horrible on food.. Ive got to get it all back under control. Ive gained about 10 pounds back since ive stopped going to the gym and since ive stopped watching what i eat. I need to get back on the ball casue I had lost about 50 pounds..

But anyways. I was at a party with my family today. And my beautiful family was there, they are so fashionable, so skinny.. I just felt crappy. Made more so by the fact that I was wearing gym clothes, i dunno what i was thinking, i had just come from the gym.. Oh well...

Anyways.. I haven't bought new clothes in ages, most of my clothes aren't in great shape anymore. But im always more interested in buying for the kids than for me. I ordered some new clothes from one of my fave shops that was having a clearance sale, just a shirt and skirt. Im exctied to get them.

Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. I was planning on getting to the gym again, but my mom wants to get together. Ill have to make time later in the day. Im going to try and go for at least 30 min every day that I dont have to work.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I hate money...

Thats a lie... I don't hate money itself, its just paper or coin and actually i find its aesthetics kinda cool. I hate dealing with money, money issues, finances, the want or need of money, other peoples want or need of money, etc...

This morning started off kinda rushed. I needed to be at work at 10:30. So got up with john, who worked at 10 today, even though it was his day off. They called him yesterday when we were at the zoo. So anyways. We both get up, john gets the kids started with breakfast while i start some laundry, hang some laundry, bring some laundry in, etc. Then i come in and I take over feeding the kids. John leaves while we are still at the breakfast table. I brush their teeth, brush their hair, do auroras hair, wipe them down and all that jazz. Then I get them dressed, take the trash out, bring more laundry in and put it away. My dad comes over cause he has to babysit while i'm at work. So im getting dressed and getting ready.

So then I check what time i need to be there by, because I really wanted to rush out to the grocery store. Well when i checked my phone it turned out I didnt need to be there till 11:30, which was awesome cause I really needed to get some stuff done. So i finish getting dressed. I go to do the bills real quick cause john just got paid last night. Well Im doing Quicken and check my bank account and we got a ton of overdraft fee's and im like WTH! Call the bank and well we have had some issues with them, dont want to go into it just cause im sick of talking about it.. They waived a few of the fees... but not all of them. But im focusing on the fact that they waived a few, which is better than nothing ugh. But we do think we may be switching banks.. We have accounts at another one anyways, so we may just fully move there.

Anyways I put all that aside for later tonight, pretty much finished just need to put some stamps on and send them off. Well then I headed off to the grocery store with dad and the kids to deal with my other issue. The wonderful world of being a woman. I started AF yesterday while at the zoo.. Today was day 2 of my cycle. Lately day 2 has been VERY heavy flow, like soak a regular tampon in three or less hours. So I was very concerned about being at work. We dont have consistent breaks. I wanted double coverage, a tampon and a pad. Sorry TMI I know lol. So got to the store, bought the pads and some snacks for work. Back to the car, went with dad to drop of one of his bill payments. Then he dropped me off at work.

Work went by very fast, I never knew how busy it got in there! Next thing I knew it was over and I walked outside to see my dad holding my beautiful baby boy.. Aurora was asleep in her carseat. I cuddled with johnny, took him inside to show him off to my coworkers. I cant believe how big he is getting. Dad and I went to get some food because all I had today was snacks. Headed home and shared my burger with aurora when she woke up, changed clothes, nursed johnny, played on farmville, played with the kids.

Crawled all over on the floor with the kiddos, played pony, follow the leader, etc. John got home, I bathed both the kiddos. Read "Zoo Mac" one of the kids fave books. Then Aurora said prayers and they went to bed.

Now here I am, i should be studying, but I need a break sometime lol. I will be soon though.

Aurora is picking up stuff so fast now. She counts from 1 to 16. Can sing halfway through her ABC's, helps sing twinkle twinkle little star.

Johnny is walking more and more. I cant believe how fast my baby is growing up.