Today

Well im trying to keep my regular blogs and her potty training blogs seperate.. Today obviously we stayed home for most of the day and did potty training and such. Though my cousin did come over with her nephew and they played for awhile...had a blast. My father picked up my easter photo cards for me, so that i could stay home and be with aurora during our potty training.. Trying to stay home as much as possible, which is so hard for me..lol. Cleaned a bit when i had a chance, Went with my mom to get her car washed and to wal mart to buy some pull ups for auroras outings and a spray bottle for my diaper wipe mix..since we are cloth diapering we might as well be cloth wiping.. lol.. John came home, made dinner, john played with aurora and the baby napped and here we are. I think i might strip my diapers tonight.. i think they are giving the baby a rub rash..not very bad and if i put a doubler on top of the prefold then it goes right away.

Potty training day 3

So today Aurora went pee in the potty/potty chair twice..And one number two in the potty. The day isnt over yet, but who knows if ill have time to update later. She had numerous accidents today..at least five.. I started doing a version of the 3day potty training method today. I just cant stay home for three days straight though.. Too many errands to run. But we only went out for about an hour to two hours today and her diaper stayed dry the entire time! I bought her some pull ups for our times when we are out and about, because the men folk around here refuse to let her into their cars with just panties on....Which at this point is understandable, but she doesnt want to wear the diapers when i give her the option, so i hate to force her to.

The accidents seemed to have taught her something though. The 3 day method basically consists of putting them straight into underwear and then being with them all day long..not letting them out of your sight, not going on the computer, no watching tv, etc. Well we did that today and she "tinkled" as we call it.. in her panties once..didnt make it to the potty seat in time.. second time we made it..Third time she grabbed her crotch, squeeled and pointed to her potty but she had already gone by the time she was on the potty..and the fourth time she pointed to the potty and squeeled and made it in time to go number 2.. So she is learning to tell us.. I had to change her undies a lot today, but i think she is getting the hang of things! And luckily all her accidents were pee.

Potty training day 2

Again we only got a chance to try it out in the morning, though i would have let her in the afternoon, but my father was against it. She was put in her panties when she woke up and kept them dry till eleven when we left.. she didnt want to put a diaper on but my father insisted. She did number two in the toilet earlier today..got her sticker and star as well. I might put her in them again when we she gets up from her nap. We just got home. Had to run some errands and then we went for a 2 hour walk with our friend deja and logan. Got home and did her school time, now she is down for a nap..we will see if she actually falls asleep though.

Day 1 of potty training

So i thought id blog about our experiences with potty training..all the ups and downs and such.

Today we got Aurora up and put her straight into training panties (the cloth kind).. I put some plastic on the couch and some towels and let her sit and watch her morning shows, she ate breakfast and came back to sit next to me while i fed and changed her lil brother. She got fidgety at some point and asked if she wanted to sit on her potty..She did and after a few minutes went pee! We cleaning it out, did all that, gaver her a sticker for herself and she put a sticker on her chart! She even got up when she was done and tried to pull her panties up herself.. too cute.. Went on with our day. She ate lunch at some point and afterward asked if she wanted to sit on her potty..she did again and went again! Did the same sticker system..which she really seems to love. She went four hours in her undies without an accident..Though we were off to grocery shopping so i put her back in a diaper. I feel its too early to expect her to stay dry while we are running around town.

We will see how tomorrow goes.

Potty training..

Thats right.. tomorrow we are going to officially start potty training.. I hope it goes well. She has been using the potty on occasion, but it hasnt been a regular thing. Today we got her another potty book, a potty chart, stickers, a stool to get on and off the potty cause she prefers it to her potty chair. So tomorrow we start it.. I wonder how its gonna go... I feel like she is ready. The other day she brought me a diaper and she had just peed. She occasionally grabs at her crotch and points to the potty, but this is very sporadic, she knows where the potty is and what we use it for, she likes sitting on it.. I dunno..we will see how it goes, no pressure.

Amazed

Showing her stuff off to grandpa

Showing those pearly whites

Afterwards

Excited to go to the dentist

Well today the kiddos had their appointments and im just amazed at how they went..

First we got them up, dressed them..we dressed Aurora up special...to help set it up in her mind that we were doing something special today. We went to the pediatric dentist. We make our way inside and the waiting room is very very nice.. they had a little cubby area with kids toys and books and a tv playing the lion king and two smaller tvs with xbox and PlayStation hooked up. They had it all decorated for st. pattys day...which is passed, but it was cute anyways.

The only downfall was the kid that was screaming bloody murder while we were there. I tried to keep Aurora distracted with other noisy things to keep her from paying too much attention to the screaming.. and it worked well. The dental assistant came up and took our paperwork. She had emailed it to me days ago so i had it all ready for her. Then She said it would be a second and a few minutes later they took us right back. The other child was crying in her moms arms as we walked past and she commented on how cute Aurora looked. I hoped that the crying child wouldnt upset aurora but it didnt seem to, she just smiled and kept walking.

We sat there and the dental assistant showed us the best way to brush on a monkey they had with a giant tooth brush and it had a set of teeth in its mouth. Then we went over her daily routine and habits. The dentist came in and said we were doing great, she had nothing to complain about, went over some more stuff in detail with us.. Positions to brush her teeth in..what kind of toothpaste to use, when to use it, how we should floss...etc..

Then came the part i was dreading... Actually seeing the teeth. They had aurora face me, and lay down with her head on the dentists lap. I held her arms while she checked her teeth and aurora seemed to make some protests, but no crying, no screaming..she did great! I was beyond amazed.

They were done, they gave her a balloon that had a little plastic pencil type bag on the bottom, with a tooth brush, tooth paste, and floss. They also gave her a token and took her to another room to pick a prize. She picked a little silver bead necklace and they gave her a certificate that said she had no cavities and it had a free kids meal at claim jumper.. The dentist told her how great she had been and such a good girl. Aurora put her stuff down and clapped for herself..lol.. And then we made her next appointment and left.

The pedi appointment for johnny didnt go as smoothly to start. We got there and they said our appointment had been at ten..and i thought it was at eleven..so we were 23 minutes late.. they took us anyways. We thought we were going to have a long wait, but nope..maybe five or ten minutes. We went in. Johnny was in his wrap but i had to take him out to undress him and all that, but he was in a happy smiley mood. He was such a cute lil flirt! :) His stats are as follows

weight 16 pounds 12 ounces

height 26inches

He is somewhere in the eightieth percentile for everything, she said he is very proportional. We went over developmental stuff... He rolls, he is trying to pull himself up to a semi sitting position, he grabs toys, he tracks, he smiles, he coos, he giggles..etc.. He was happy for her. She said it was good that we were still breastfeeding and we should continue. She said i could start rice cereal if i wanted or wait till he was five or six months. I said i wanted to wait till six months, she said that fine, but if he starts acting hungrier or wants to eat when we are eating dinner... smacking lips and all that, then its okay to feed it to him. I am really going to try and wait till six months.

She mentioned how cute auroras dress was and how cute johnnys diaper cover was. Though when she took it off i had to take the snappi off of it and she mentioned how easy it was. She asked how i liked my moby wrap and i said we loved it. Then we discussed moving Aurora over to her as her pedi..because aurora is afraid of men and was very comfortable with johnnys pedi..and She told us how to go about that. So ive got to do that.

Then the nurse came in and gave him his vax's..very slowly mind you..ugh...but i scooped him up after and cuddled him. He was happy and smiling by the time we got home.

And then today i got some good news.. My aunt is executor of my grandmas estate and they are giving me my grandmas old car.. yay.. a way to get around. Its not the nicest thing in the world but its a car! I actually offered to buy it from grandma when she was still alive, but she always hoped she would be able to drive again.

And we got home and my new happy heinys cloth diaper in cow print came! So excited. Its the cutest thing ever!

We're Back!

Well we drove up to Fresno to visit with my grandmother who was out here visiting from South Carolina. It went alright.. the beginning was a bit shaky but the end was great. My mom decided to carpool so we all went in her car. She sat in between the kids, I drove because john was unable to. He falls asleep easily on long distance drives at night plus he cant fit in the seat with the baby behind him..he is just too tall. The drive up went fine.

Aurora stayed awake for most of the drive...like an hour and a half past her normal bedtime. She finally fell asleep maybe 30 minutes to an hour before we arrived. So when we got there she was still sleepy and she had no clue where she was or who all the people were. So she flipped out. Just hiding in my arms while i held her and she screamed. We whisked her away into our room and got ready for bed. She and baby brother were both in their pjs already. I dressed them in them ahead of time.

We brushed her teeth. Read her a story and john began to lay her in the pack and play and it just wasnt going to happen. He didnt even lay her down and she flipped out. We took pity on her cause she was scared and let her sleep in the bed with me. John slept on the floor. The only problem is she isnt used to sleeping with someone, plus she was afraid so she would wake up every few minutes and touch my face and try to lay on me. Eventually the baby woke up and wanted to eat. John put aurora down in the pack and play. She didnt like that, but once she saw that he was going to sleep next to her on the floor she was okay. Johnny slept in the bed with me.

The next day we stuck around the house for most of the day. It was nice cause they gave us the master bedroom so we had our own bathroom. So we didnt have to wait for anyone to get the kiddos ready. The day started off rocky. I was watching the baby on and off most of the morning cause john was crabby from lack of sleep and his back hurt from sleeping on the floor. Anyways. He was chilling in the living room with my cousin kyle. Well my cousin Emily, who is only four. Kept letting Aurora out of the house without supervision and I had no clue.. There are three entrances in and out of the house. I was sitting at the one they use the most, but they kept going through the slider. Well Im sitting in the kitchen doing something, i cant even remember what.. and i hear screaming.. my child screaming.. and i was gone like a bat out of hell. running as fast as i could praying that my baby was okay. I fly past john still on his butt in the living room. Throw the slider open and rush to my great aunt carrying my screaming daughter. Telling me she fell off the ladder to the play house. I scoop her up in my arms. Feel her arms and legs for breaks.. Hug and rock her. My cousin Brandon comes out and says "Christine here" and i hand him aurora. He pulls up her back shirt where i couldnt see and there is a two inch by two inch scrape.. I whisk her off to the bedroom. Yank my first aid kit out of my diaper bag and fix my baby girl up. Poor thing. It looked so bad then, not so bad now. I felt so guilty that i hadnt been there to keep it from happening and that i had no clue she was outside.

Needless to say John and I followed her everywhere the rest of the weekend. If she was out of sight for a second we flew to find her. Which was prolly a good idea since thats how we caught the face that my little cousin was letting aurora outside. I saw aurora stand by the door, point out, my cousin open it up and start to let her go out before I told Aurora no.

Later in the afternoon we went to the mall with my cousin, his new baby girl and his ex. We had a blast just hanging out. His daughter is so adorable. She has the most beautiful lashes! It was the first time i was able to see her in person. We came home, they put pics on the little girls and took pics of them together. We got the kiddos fed, bathed, and put to bed like normal. Then played some cards with my grams and great aunt.

Later on the boys were watching pirates of the Caribbean and my grams was folding laundry. She calls me in and says to me"Christine i am so proud of you. Aurora is such a great little girl, she is so well behaved and that doesnt just happen. You are doing a good job" I was shocked but so grateful to have such validation as a parent, i only hope i can continue to live up to such praise. Aurora isnt perfect, but she is well behaved and well disciplined. My cousin mentioned how he loved that i discipline so well and consistent.

Later on we went to bed..slept forever.. John on the floor again. I missed him. Woke up, ate, got the kiddos ready and headed off for home. We had planned on visiting the zoo up there, but the weather wasnt permitting, So we changed our plans. We visited the LA zoo once we got closer to home. We had a freaking blast! Drove on home and the kiddos were beat. We fed them and put them down for a nap. Our washing machine is on the fritz..its an apartment complex one and someone used soap that they werent supposed to in the front loader and now it doesnt work. So I had to drive over to my aunts to clean my cloth diapers. I dont have enough disposables to go without them and honestly i dont want to use disposables.

Anyways Ive got tons of pics to upload, but for some reason the computer isnt acting right..so those will be up as soon as possible.

First Dental Visit

Well Auroras doctor recommended she see the dentist at 12 months but ive been wondering whether i should just take her to the regular dentist we see and whom i have known for my entire life.. Or a pediatric dentist that will specialize in the care of a youngsters teeth and dealing with a youngsters fears. Well the regular dentist really saw no need to see her so young.. I looked online for some pediatric dentists locally, but never really came up with one.

Well at Auroras 18 month check up I brought up my concerns to the doc and he recommended the pediatric dentist..and even a specific office.. I checked into them and they seemed great. So i made the appointment. They sent me a bunch of paperwork to read and fill out before her appointment, which will be March 25th. Took our dental insurance info and gave me an idea of whats going to happen. This dentist is a little further than i had looked prior, but right next to her pedis office.

They said the first appointment will usually take 45mins to an hour. They will go over any bad habits she has (ie thumb sucking, bottle taking, paci usage, etc... None of which she does...), what she eats and when, who brushes her teeth (john and i do.. she doesnt do it well enough herself yet), then they will go over what she should and shouldnt eat, proper dental hygiene. They will then check her teeth, do anything if necessary, and then give her a toy and balloon or something..

They said they want the experience to be as enjoyable as possible. They have a child geared waiting room, every dental room has a flat screen tv that plays children's movies. They have a male and female dentist. I informed them that aurora is more afraid of men and she has her appointment with the female dentist.

Im excited because it seems like a great place and i feel like i made a good choice for my child. However im worried about how its going to go, he 18 month checkup was miserable, she was sooo frightened to let them touch her. I think I will be switching her primary doc. Currently she sees a male who I like, but like i said, aurora doesnt take too well to men and she doesnt see the doc very often. Johnny has a female pedi and we really like her, so i think i will be changing her primary pedi to johnnys pedi.

Who I've Become

Yesterday was St. Pattys day. So happy belated St. Pattys day. :) Got the kiddos up, john stayed late before going to work. Gave them their St. Pattys day buckets of goodies..not much, gave John his tie... Fed Aurora breakfast, she got to drink milk out of her plastic green mug. John left. My father came over and i made us all lunch, made plans to go to the park with my aunts and my cousins son.

Met at my aunt susans, waited for aunt nancy and my cousins son, cody, to show up. We drove to the park. Got the kiddos out.. Fed the ducks. Laid a blanket out and had a picnic then walked the kids over to the playground so they could play. Johnny slept in auroras stroller (my father doesnt allow me to put my double stroller in his car) while i ran around with aurora and dad sat next to johnny sleeping. They had a blast.

Brought Aurora home, put her down for a nap. Fed johnny, put him down for a nap. Then i cleaned both bathrooms.. As i was doing it i kept thinking. Man i love who i am and what i am.

I love being a Mom. Especially a Stay at home mom, thats the only way i would have it. I know that im raising my kids. I cant imagine not being with them all the time. Sure its hectic, but heck i love it. I love that i have such a wonderful husband who works so hard to allow me to stay home and i love the little family we are. We knew when we got married that we wanted kids and when we had kids that i would stay home with them. So they didnt have to go to a stranger or daycare... At home they have mommy, they have one on one care. I just love my life.

Aurora got up, ran around with grandpa for a bit..She loves hanging out with grandpa. Came home and did "School time" with mommy. We only do it during the weekdays. Its amazing how fast she learns!

John came home from work and i cooked dinner and folded some laundry. We had corned beef, potatoes and cabbage of course. Aurora seemed to like the corned beef. And then it was the nightly routine as always.. Bedtime baths, stories, prayers, kisses and bed. Both kiddos down and mommy and daddy were able to have some time to watch tv together. I love our adult time.



Well today I went on a walk with my friend Deja and her cute lil son Logan. I took john to work so i could have the car and the double stroller. We went on an hour walk again.. Our third one so far i think. I was excited to do it. I feel so much better when i excersize. I lost 7.6 pounds last week alone! Im eating well, my kiddos are eating well. Breastfeeding is going wonderfully. Im cloth diapering pretty much all the time. Aurora doesnt have enough covers to do it all the time for her.

Came home, picked up dad, had him check the air in the tires..the light was coming on. Found out that eventually i will need new front tires...oh well. Then came home and made my baby girl and me some lunch. Then fed johnny, put them both down for naps again. This time aurora wasnt having it, so after awhile of letting her cry. I let her go out and play with grandpa while i cleaned the kitchen. She wanted to help, but i dont like having her around the chemicals. So now the kitchen is clean, the baby is starting to wake up.. and aurora should be coming home soon.... I dont like him to take her for too long.. I miss her too much... But i cant really deprive her from seeing one of her favortive people, grandpa.

Well anyways off i go.. wanted to let people know i was still alive..lol.

Time after time

Well im taking a break from folding the mountain of laundry that i washed recently. Though i still have two bathrooms to clean and a kitchen, but the kitchen will wait for another day..thats going to take all day, because i need to go through a lot of stuff in the dining room..

Last night I had a dream that grandma had survived the pneumonia... I woke up thinking maybe she still was alive, but in a few seconds i realized it had been a dream. That was hard.

Im happy to say that johnny was completely cloth diapered all night and they work wayy better than the sposies that he often leaks through at night. I also saved my pocket dipe i have for him, for the night which made it simple and easy.

Aurora is talking more and more everyday.. I just cant believe it. Every weekday we do "school time"..I try to shoot for five oclock M-F.. We do colors, ABC book, body parts, baby animals, music..etc.. We have been doing it for a a week now. Well today we were watching baby mozart..and aurora shouts out blue.. and i look up and the lady is moving the blue puzzle piece. My little girl is growing up.

Johnny giggles, coo's and all that. Rolling, jumping in his jumperoo.... holding his head up really well..all that jazz...

18 month check up

Aurora had her 18month check up yesterday.

Stats
Weight 27pounds
Height 32 inches and some change..lol.. Id have to go get the paperwork

She was scared of the scale and cried while on it and it was the stand up ones! She was scared of the doctor. Didnt want the gown put on..didnt want him touching her... The nurse did her head measurments, her temp..basically everything he could do in my arms. She didnt used to be like this but oh well. She warmed upto the male nurse..which suprised me, but her doc..nope.. She has seen him since a baby but oh well.. its been awhile. She got a book, then her vax, and then a sticker and then outta there.

Ive got more to say, but no real time to write.. oh well. Just thought id update everyone. : )

Depressed

I think im going to be depressed for awhile. I miss my grandma so much and the longer time passes the more i really miss her... I cant just pick up the phone and talk to her.. like we used to.. Talk about nothing.. go visit her.. I just wish she had never broken her hip. I wish she were still alive today. I wish this didnt hurt so bad. I thought nothing would hurt as bad as the loss of my grandfather because we were so close, but now they are both gone. When she was alive it was like a part of him was still here..but now they are both gone and i cant help but be so upset. I just want them back so that i can wrap my arms around them and never let go.

Now im crying again. I need this pain to go away.

Its so final

So today was the funeral. Well we didnt have anyone to watch the kiddos...everyone we knew was going and we really arnt keen on leaving our kids with non family members, especially since johnny is a screamer on occasions... And i am breastfeeding and though i dont mind him having a bottle of formula once in a blue moon.. i prefer him not to.

Well we get ready to go. I didnt have anything black for the kids to wear and while i thought about going out to buy them something, i decided against it. So Aurora wore a black, pink, and white dress...Johnny wore a blue onsie with matching overalls..though he was in my black moby wrap the entire time. We get there..its the viewing, my mother stays outside with aurora because i was adamant she NOT see grandma in the coffin, She knows who grandma is and loves her very much and she just wouldnt understand. So John and i and johnny, who was sleeping in the wrap. Went in. Grandma didnt look like herself. Wasnt wearing her glasses, was wearing very heavy make up.. but then i gues you would have to, she was very bruised on her hands from all the iv's.. and even some bruising from when they did the ventilator.

Well then we went back out. John got his stuff for being a pall bearer.. gloves and a carnation. Then the casket was closed and we went in. Johnny, John, and I sat up front with my father. While aurora sat in the back with my mom. That way she really didnt see too much of what was going on as well as me crying, which i knew would upset her. My mother kept her occupied the entire time and she did great. Johnny slept the entire time. They did the service, my cousin did. and it was very good. Then they played some music and then they did a video my cousin had put together.

Once she makes me a copy i will share it. But man thats when i lost it.. I was bawling, even thinkign about it makes me want to cry. Just pictures and video of my grandma..My dad lost it when he saw a pic of his mom and dad and him as a boy..and up until this point dad hadnt cried yet. It was very hard for me to see my strong father that way and made me cry even harder. So then a pic flashed of grandma holding my newborn baby aurora.. and omg.. I just broke out in sobbs... i couldnt take it..SHES GONE...Aurora will never see her again, never actually remember her without our help.

Then that ended and everyone was able to go up to the closed coffin and say their final respects.. And i just laid my hand on it and cried, sobbed... I want her BACK! We went to the grave site and i had to breastfeed johnny, but by now im pretty descrete about it. Kissed a rose and laid it on her coffin.. and said my final goodbye.. Its so real, so final.

Went to grandmas and visited with all the family, took the mind off of the pain. Well thats all i can say for now.. Johnny needs his bath..its bedtime.

Depressed

Outwardly i act fine.. I mean im not crying as much anymore. When people ask how i am, i say alright or fine.. i dont start crying like i did.. But honeslty i feel depressed all the time. I want to hide in a hole and pass all the mouring and such by. I dont feel like cooking, cleaning, etc.. Honestly i dont feel like doing much of anything. I feel tired and sad..

I miss my grandma. I wish i had pics of the two of us on my computer, but i dont. : (

March 1, 2009

Holding johnny




Feeding aurora as a baby

Grandma and aunt susan

My grandma

Ive been out of it lately..and i havent updated blogger at all.

Last night, my grandma passed away. The pneumonia made her too weak. As some of you may have read in earlier blogs, grandma broke her hip and then was in a convalescent hospital. Then she came home for one day, the only place she wanted to be.. Her bp was very low, she had signs of possible pneumonia, and her legs had been swollen for quite some time. My aunt took her in the next day and grandma was readmitted into the hospital, with the signs of a possible heart attack and pneumonia.

The heart attack was confirmed by blood tests and the pneumonia was as well. They began to treat it, but as time went by it worsened. Grandma could no longer breathe on her own and they ventilated her. She was on a ventilator for a few days.. Once taken off of it she said it had been torture. Though she could barely talk at this point. She worsened as she couldnt sustain healthy breathing. The doctors informed us that if she were to be put on the ventilator again it would most likely be for the duration of her life. And they emphasized how grandma already had terminal cancer. My aunt asked grandma if she wanted to have the tubes put back in, because that was the only way should could survive. I was there and we all cried when she shook her head no... She didnt want that, and personally i can understand why, she looked so miserable on it..She couldnt talk, she cant see because of her cataracts, the cancer had taken away her ability to eat, and breaking her hip took away the ability to walk. Its like my aunt said..it was a slow chisseling away of all the things grandma loved. All the things we take for granted.

We all tried to visit her multiple times of the day. Though with two kids its been a struggle.. sadly aurora and johnny were not allowed to visit her..Nor do i want aurora to remember her great grandmother that way. I stayed at the hospital the night she passed. I was there for roughly six hours with two of my cousins and my aunt. We took turns periodically in the waiting room and with grandma. By this point grandma had been laboring to breath for almost a day and a half now. She didnt seem aware of anyone's presence and they were keeping her comfortable.

At one am i made the decision to go home. My breasts were beginning to hurt and i had missed two feedings with the baby. Grandmas vitals had actually gotten a bit better and i lived with the delusion that maybe she could beat this. This morning i called my aunt to check on grandmas condition. She passed away at around 3am. I am so thankful that she was there to hold grandmas hand, i didnt want her to die alone.

My grandma has always been a large part of my life. She took care of me as a child while my father worked. She changed my diapers as a baby, potty trained me, took me to and from school. Took me to the doctors.. She was there for a few of my prenatal appointments when i was pregnant with Aurora. She was always telling me how beautiful my children are.. and she loved them so much. It hurts to know that Aurora wont actually remember anything, but I wont let her memory of her die with her. Aurora will know the wonderful woman that my grandma was. At times she may have seemed hard headed or stubborn, but so am i and i wouldnt have had her any other way.

At least now she is no longer struggling to breathe and she has gone to heaven. To be with the love of her life and husband for over 50 years... and GOD..

Now the tears have begun to fall... I cant believe she is gone, no more kissing her cheek, no more talking about random things to her, no stories, no.. i wont think this way.. its better not to.. Instead i will share pictures of her with you. She was a month shy of her 88th birthday.