Depressed

I think im going to be depressed for awhile. I miss my grandma so much and the longer time passes the more i really miss her... I cant just pick up the phone and talk to her.. like we used to.. Talk about nothing.. go visit her.. I just wish she had never broken her hip. I wish she were still alive today. I wish this didnt hurt so bad. I thought nothing would hurt as bad as the loss of my grandfather because we were so close, but now they are both gone. When she was alive it was like a part of him was still here..but now they are both gone and i cant help but be so upset. I just want them back so that i can wrap my arms around them and never let go.

Now im crying again. I need this pain to go away.