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Monday, September 29, 2008

Frustrated....

I posted this somewhere else.. but im gonna copy it here.. so you can read my hormonal ramblings...

Okay, so normally i dont come on here and vent.. but im sooo frustrated tonight and i feel like i have no one to tell..no one to vent to... Im sure its partially hormones.. i am 32weeks pregnant..but i also think my feelings are justified.. i dunno, you can give me your thoughts. Be gentle though. :)

So hubby has been working everyday for the last week and a half.. no days off.. He came home early one day cause he was sick and today he came home early to go to a prenatal visit with me. I was out and about with my father(he lives next door and is retired so we spend quite a lot of time with him) and my daughter today. We visited my grandma and my aunt for awhile this morning. I got a call from hubby when he was on his way home from work, he wasnt sure if he was going to be able to get off early. Well we didnt get home until maybe 15 minutes after him. I figured thats good, gives him some free time to play his xbox 360 or whatever...
We get home and I leave our daughter with him in the living room while i went on the computer for a second to read about the stock market crash that he told me was all over the news.. Well my daughter cried when i went into the other room and i could hear her crying still.. but then she stopped.. turned out grandpa came over to play with her... hubby continued to play his game.. Well i came out and talked with hubby, ate.. played with our daughter..etc.. and then it came time to leave for my appointment. My father babysat while we went to the doctors.. We went and came back, got dinner on the way home cause hubby really wanted a footlong chilli cheese dog from a place we saw on the way back (which ended up they didnt get his order right and he ended up with a regular hot dog instead of the one he ordered...)
Well he decides to call the phone company to check to see if the preorder for his new cell went through...some new gizmo he wants.. anyways.. Aurora is playing in the living room, my 14yr old neighbor is playing with her..they are buddies..lol.. and im sitting there talking to the neighbor kid and watching them play. Well another neighbor kid, a little 6yr old girl, comes and leaves a note asking for aurora to come out and play. My father found the note and he took her out to play with the little girl, which i was thankful about because honestly the girl gets on my nerves a bit.. we will get to that in a second.
So then the neighbor kid starts talking game talk with hubby, once he comes back in the living room, so i go next door to talk to his mom, who is my buddy. Well my daughter walks up to the neighbors door (she's one) with grandpa and the other little girl and comes inside. Grandpa leaves and we all go outside.. Aurora is playing around with the little girl.. and this is what i dont like, the little girl trys to manhandle my daughter..pick her up..etc.. and it makes me really ancy and so i try and tell her dont pick her up, let her get up on her own..etc... well she and my daughter walk a little down the path between our houses.. and my friend and i stand there and watch them, well for some reason she decides to pick my daughter up.. and then stumbles on the sidewalk, drops my daughter, head first onto the concrete! I come running, scoop up my child, who is screaming and run into the house.. I yell for hubby to get me some ice... and we ice her head...
Then its hubby, me, neighbor and her son, and my daughter all in the living room.. comforting her..etc... I check her eye dilation..no bump on the head.. she gets over it pretty quick and starts playing around the living room with the neighbor kid.. Hubby goes back to his game.. and i just sit there and comfort her when she comes over for a cuddle.. My father comes over because he heard her screaming earlier... All goes along well.
Well we visit for awhile and then slowly everyone goes home and my daughter and I play a bit.. by now ive been asking hubby to get off the game, geometry wars, since the neighbors were there.. and i keep getting "in a second" and " in a minute"..and yet he isnt doing it. So finally we go into my daughters room and continue playing. Time goes by and we go into the kitchen and get some water for her and iced tea for me.. at this point im yelling at hubby cause im mad he wont get off the game to at least play with his child!
Come on! He has hardly spent five minutes with her since he has been home.. and he is sitting there saying stuff like "why does it bother you im having fun"..etc.. Im just so frustrated.. We used to take her to the park every monday as a family, which was his idea, but lately with him working everyday of the week it does happen. And i would think that he would be eager to spend time with his daughter.. but it just doesnt seem that way.
It amazes me.. i spend all day with her everyday and play all day everyday and i have fun doing it, I cant imagine being deprived of her for all day and then coming home and ignoring her... Its just been recently he has been doing this.
Yes he has always been really into his games and its been a struggle to get him off his games, but before she was born it seemed like he was finally over it.. finally got to the point where he would play a little every day or every other day and that was enough...
So now i finally got him off the game and they are in the living room playing. I came in here to vent and he got mad i was leaving and i said i was going to let him have some father daughter time... and she cried a bit when i left the room.. She is having some attachment things with me lately. I just started going to a design class with my aunt on tuesday nights and hubby watches her.. well when i left last week she stood at the door screaming her lungs out.. i wanted to cry.. my father called me to see if she has been hurt she was screaming sooo loud and he could hear her...
Ugh.. im just frustrated tonight...and if you actually read this whole thing..thanks :)



All i want to know is where did my hubby go.... he is cranky tonight.. ugh...

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