Feeling so nervous

We are getting closer and closer to the arrival of baby number two... and im so nervous and ancy about breastfeeding. I want it to work out soooooooooo bad. I cant even tell you how bad. I feel like it was all my fault that it crashed and burned with Aurora. I remember how much i felt like a failure. So i guess i want to get that off my chest. Here is what happened with her..

In the hospital i didnt get to feed her for the first time until six hours after she was born, Then whisked her away with my husband to get all of her stuff done in the nursery...well apparently there were a lot of babies born that day and she was like the last in line. She gets back and she feeds beautifully from my breast... she did great! Then they come in and say her blood sugar is low and they want me to feed a bottle. I was unsure so i said id like to feed her and they keep pushing the bottle on me, i should have asked that her blood sugar be rechecked since she had just eaten... Well the nurses i had made me feel stupid and like a new mom that knows nothing.. and so we ended up giving her the bottle they wanted.. and then continuing to try to get her to take the breast. Well after she had the bottle she wanted nothing to do with the breast. Even the lactation consultant came in and couldnt get her to latch on. She found out how low the blood sugar had been and she said that it was barely low at all! Well i continued all day long to try to get her to latch.. the nurses would come in every once in awhile "have you fed her yet?!" and i would say, "we are trying" and then they came in and wanted her to eat more of the bottle! Then the nurse fed her the bottle! Ugh.. and so then we took my daughter home as soon as they would release us and the darn nurse had me so scared out of my mind that my daughters blood sugar was low that when she wouldnt breastfeed at home we resorted to giving her the bottle and trying to breastfeed... well yeah that crashed and burned.. we went to see the lactation consultant. Well she got her to latch on but she wasnt sure that she was actually drinking anything and she seemed a bit rushed because she had another mom come in. Well she told me to use a nipple shield because it will feel like the nipple of a bottle. To express a bit of breastmilk into the shield before you latch baby, latch baby, then breastfeed for ten minutes on each breast or however long she will latch.. and then give her one ounce in a bottle (i was pumping so that my daughter would at least get the breastmilk).. Then pump for ten minutes on each breast and then do it all over again in two hours from start. The whole thing became too much for me.. especially since afterawhile my daughter would just scream when i tried to latch her.
So sad to say.. I just gave up and pumped to give her full breastmilk for about a month then half breastmilk and half formula another two weeks or so and then full formula... I felt so crappy and guilty.. I had my chance and i ruined it..

I would like to think that im wiser this time around, and im not going to let them push me around.